Saturday, December 25, 2010


I missed blogging yesterday and so I didn't make it this year! Boo hiss! Okay well, I'm going to share this last little fun story for my twelve days of Christmas blogfest.

I was able to talk with Santa this year and have him call my nieces and nephews. You see I'm a reference on their Naughty or Nice sheets. Santa and I conversed and I let him know that all of the kids had been very nice and deserved personal calls from Santa. And that's just what he did over the last few days!

I got to speak with the kids right afterwards. It was fun listening to the nieces & nephews tell me what Santa had promised them as gifts and how lucky they were to get to talk to him. One nephew explained he'd had an especially lucky year, he'd gotten to speak with Santa & Goofy! Each child advised they were going to go to bed early and were not going to peak as Santa had asked them not too!

Want me to add me as a reference? Maybe I can have Santa call you next year!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Snot Nosed the other Reindeer

Snot Nosed the other Reindeer,
Had a very runny nose
And if you ever met him
You'd notice how he blows and blows!
All of the other Reindeer,
Used to laugh and keep their distance,
They never let old Snot Nosed
Carry a box of tissues in peace!
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say, "Snot Nose with your nose so red from tissues,
Wouldn't you like some antihistamines tonight?"
Oh how the Snot Nosed loved him, as he shouted out with glee!
"Santa, you dear old pharmacologist, now I can breath so freely!"

Wintery Movies

I have a few flicks that I like to try and catch every winter, particularly around when Santa comes! In no particular order here are my favs.

1. The Elf - solid Christmas flick with loads of quotable lines! Will Ferrell at his best.
2. Little Women - some will argue this isn't a "holiday flick" buy with all the winter scenes and the romance, I'm a sucker. Let the tears flow.
3. Love Actually - you have to catch the edited tv version or else you get to see some british nudity, amazing flick otherwise! The father son moments are arguably some of the best in film. Also an amazing soundtrack!
4. A Christmas Story - who doesn't right?
5. Home Alone - the scream the guy makes when the tarantula is in his face us awesome! Also very quotable.

Bad Christmas movies for me include

1. Any subsequent Home Alone
2. The Tim Allen becomes Santa movies
3. Jack Frost
4. Any time they take a cheesy Christmas song & make it a movie, like "christmas shoes"

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Anna Mae Claus

With a “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!,”
Anna Mae giggles as the sleigh climbs out of sight.
For you see, tonight is special for Santa’s main squeeze
It’s her one night she behaves however she pleases!

Hours of silence and time to herself,
She banishes every last helpful elf
She cranks up Bob Marley and Stevie Wonder
Then the jewelry cabinet she does plunder.
She piles it on til she’s shiny and bright,
Diamonds galore like a starry starry night!

Once bedazzled and shiny she brings on the polish
Toes and fingers bright pink, all red is abolished!
With a Diet Coke in hand Anna Mae reads her trashy novel,
Imagining Edward love her and watching him grovel.

She answers a few emails with charm and vigor,
“Don’t wait for mistletoe. Make your own magic occur.”
Then climbing to the roof she watches the sunrise,
Eyeing the skies for her man that flies.

Monday, December 20, 2010

We have a full house! And in a full house a computer becomes a hot commodity. So tonight I blog from my iPod! My goodness are these keys tiny! I just have a quick little holiday ditty to share. I am wondering, why is Mrs. Claus so silent? Sister needs to represent! That is my angle if I ever write a children's Christmas book. A Mrs. Claus story... Maybe that will be tomorrows blog, if I score some computer time! I'm grateful to have everyone here, I'll give up all my computer time for them!

Sunday, December 19, 2010


It has been suggested that I discuss Egg Nog and it's different flavors. Here you get to witness one of Ellen's many neurosis on parade. Drinking eggs is so so wrong to me. Yes, I've looked up the recipe and there are some versions of the nog that they cook the eggs. Oh, I'm sure it's very safe and I won't die a slow and torturous death of salmonella. But when faced with nog, my imagination just gets away with me and I am either drinking milk with scrambled egg chunks or I'm contracting noggallolian virus from contaminated eggs which will make my hair and finger nails fall out. I will be hideous! Don't look at me! (Okay I made that second disease up but it sounds bad and you fear it, I know.) Strangely enough, you may drink as much nog in my presence as you'd like. I'm cool with that. It's your funeral, I mean, it's your preference.

However, I am a fan of flavored and souped up drinks. Diet Coke with Lime is off the hook!! Wild Cherry Pepsi is divine. And a soda fountain Vanilla Coke like french kissing an angel. So it's not a flavoring issue.

I did try a sip of homemade nog this year and it was the best I'd had so far. It was really frothy which was just down right fishy to me. Now I'm drinking meringue?

Can you see? I just can't get over it, I'm in my head too much. Eggs we eat, not drink.

Fish are friends, not food.

Saturday, December 18, 2010


I have graduated from college! Go me! I finally have my bachelors degree, which according to the president of my college makes me part of a gang of only 2% of educated smarties in AZ. In our gang in order to be jumped in, you have to allow yourself to be beat up by snooty educators for 4 years. If you survive, you get a certificate and a handshake. Welcome to the gang!

I sat by my friend Kurt at the graduation. NAU has it all figured out to make the program go as fast as possible. Two people announcing the names so you move double speed. When it was our turn, I went to the left and shook hands, Kurt went to the right. When we got back to our seats we compared stories. The right was more interesting. I had a very manly man announce my name, a little like being announced for the world series, then three random men shook my hand, two photos and I wandered back to my seat. Kurt basically had the same except he got to shake hands with the self imposed queen of education. She offered her hand like the queen does, palm down and fingers first. He said it took a lot of self restraint not to kiss her hand and bow a little. And that is how you know you've won the education battle!

Overall, it was a solid event. It snowed a little and I'm done! Go me!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Cheat to Win

We’ve all seen those stickery appliqué thingies that share wisdom in people’s houses. Some of them are spiritual and share scriptures, others are fun or wise. You have seen them, “Carry on, Move around” or the popular “Home, it’s where families are something or another.” I clearly don’t read them.

My dream would be to see people come up with a family motto, you know something that actually matters to them not just what the Relief Society craft is that month. This motto is something the whole fam must think about and agree on. Family consensus must occur in the establishing of the motto. Said family motto then must be stickery appliquéd to the entry way. Because let's be honest, sometime you can judge a book by it's motto. I mean you wouldn't want to mess with the house that votes on the motto, "Death to Mr. Rogers." But your undiscovered best friend could live in the house, "Always eat brownies." In my mom’s house it would have read “It’s not the way you cut it, it’s the way you sew it up.” Our family motto, always has been, always will be. Represent! Last Christmas my friend’s family voted on “Cheat to Win.” Clearly you don’t compete against that crew.

Our motto is still developing and taking shape but clearly is going to be some form of the following: “ENGAGE!” - Mrs. Incredible, “Pull the Lever!” – Yzma from Emperor’s New Groove, “Make it so.” - Captain Picard or the four notes you’d hear before the beginning of the race when playing ExciteBike on Nintendo. It’s all about a call to action in our house!

Josh: “Are you ready?”

Me: “I’m ready.”

Josh: “Make it so.” Or really my favorite…. “bong, bong, bong, DING!”

Also acceptable is the Iron Will whistle.

In the spirit of reviving and making appliqués more interesting, what would your family motto be?

Thursday, December 16, 2010

She Santa

About 5 years ago, my mother took a turn dressing up as Santa Claus for a Relief Society activity. It had been a lot of fun entertaining and bringing holiday cheer to the crowd. On one pass from the gym to the kitchen, Mom came face to face with a 7 year old girl. Here is the predicament, "Do you try and fake a man voice?" or be mute Santa? Let's just say it was a brief encounter with the help of a elf shuttling the 7 year old along her way. Mom says she did a lot of nodding and oohs and ahhs. Mom worries she caused severe counseling needs. Some little girl wrote her Christmas essays on "Christmas Conspiracy: Santa is a woman?"

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Watch out, they spit.

Tonight you see art entries by Mr. & Mrs. Santa Haws. I know our art work is astonishing, but you should consider we are in late 20s, early 30s. We have mastered Crayola. I have created "Santa's Bora Bora Beach House." The man deserves a quality vacation! Also if I won a bajillion dollars today, I'd go straight to Bora Bora!
Mr. Haws has completed an art work entitled, "He Has Come." Way to get all religious on me Josh and make me look bad. Gosh! Actually, this is why I love you. Thanks for the good reminder about what this is all about. Also, very Picasso-esque stars and awesome camels!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Newer traditions

I realized this year as I was making my list and checking it twice that Josh and I have developed some of our own holiday traditions. When did that happen? Somewhere in the eight years of marriage, poof! I thought I’d make myself a little catalog of how they developed so that when the kids ask me, “Why do we eat these weird sandwiches and Auntie doesn’t?” I’ll have an answer.

I’m a terrible bread maker. The science behind the magical potion called yeast seems to fail me. Even when using one of those “No Fail, even your dog could make these rolls” recipes I can’t figure out. I can get the dough to rise the first time and then doom. Predictible fail. However, the stars seem to always align when I make Hawaiian bread. And so it became our tradition that I would make Hawaiian bread on Christmas. It may have started as a necessity tradition but we’ve grown to love it. Hawaiian bread has the best aroma ever, and the taste has just a hint of pineapple. Mmmm good!

Another tradition is that we have ham for Christmas dinner, which is pretty standard; however I found this crazy ham sandwich leftover recipe last year. Mostly I hunted it down out of frustration. We had lots of ham left over and I was bored with it. Three additional uses is usually my leftover limits, and last year I still had a huge ham stack! So I turned to my favorite recipe website and found this gem. It is good, people. Grilled Ham & Pineapple Sandwiches. They are dope! Sour dough bread, smear on some cream cheese, cooked ham, pineapple slice, smoosh it all in your sandwich and throw it in a fry pan until everything is nice and warm. Yes, you can’t eat it every day or your heart would stop, but it is pretty amazing stuff. I imagine it would be righteous on a Panini press. Hint, hint Santa.

Right now you are thinking, “Are all of their traditions about food??” No! Okay yeah, most of them. We like food. Non food traditions include a Homer Simpson Santa that has to be on display somewhere in the house. He seems to not get packed up every year. So Homer Santa is always watching, all year long. A set of reindeer dessert dishes that comes out every year, each has its own reindeer in full character. My favorite is Vixen. The additional of a new “couple” to the Christmas ornament collection. Last year it was a really beautiful set of Santa Mickey & Minnie. I think it will be really fun when we have 50+ couple ornaments for every Christmas we’ve spent together. Won’t that be a beautiful tree?

And so begins the 12 days of Christmas blogging. Have a topic you want to hear me ramble on about? Leave a comment because as wise Homer Santa says, "Seasons Greet-er-ings!"

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Funky Produce

We were snuggled up reading books last week and Josh suddenly says, "When I was little I used to think people were saying "Old Tomato" when they were saying the word ultimatum. I'd think why would you be giving someone an old tomato? Why does that make them want to make the decision? I'd hear adults and think oh man it's getting bad he just gave him an old tomato! It made a lot more sense when I got older."

Then he went right back to reading as I erupted into giggles. I can imagine this little farm boy and how awful he would have thought it would be to have someone give you an old tomato. Really, what's worse than an old tomato in the produce world?

::::Side Note::::: Last year I did the 12 Days of Christmas Blogging, I would like to make it a tradition! If you have any suggestions of topics, throw them at me in the comments. Happy Christmas!

Sunday, November 21, 2010


As an early Christmas gift we have received a Ginzu set of knives that completely rule! You know you are special (cheap) when you get excited and cheery about knives that cut instead of saw. It has been awesome!

I keep showing Josh how great they are. The conversations usually goes something like this, "Josh! Look at how uniform my tomato slices are, check out our french bread, watch me dice these carrots with ease!"

"That's super wife. Just don't cut yourself. You aren't use to the cutting power of the Ginzu."

And he's right, so I've been squeezing it easy. But on Saturday we were in a rush, throwing together a side dish for a dinner party. I'm mixing ingredients together, Josh is cutting celery and all the sudden I hear, "OH MOTHER BEAR!" Yes...that is really what he said.

He sticks his finger in the sink and turns on the water for you see, the power of the Ginzu had won. Now I go into nurse mode, cold compress? pressure? band aids? I'm sure he's about to bleed out from a finger wound. Yeah, yeah I tend to over react, it's out of love. Don't judge me..... So I'm throwing out First Aid options and in a perfect Josh answer he looks at me and says, "Do you know how bad it is going to hurt to type the letter K this week? Every time it's going to be like click, ow!, click, ow!" His finger looks like a trauma scene and he's worried about typing the letter K. But I guess I can't blame him, it's a very important letter. I just used it 19 times to tell you this story!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Thank you

Tomorrow is Veteran's day and as a little salute to the Veteran's in my life I wanted to share the stories I remember most as told by my grandfathers about their time served during World War 2. I am thankful for the service that is given by those who have served (thanks Dad!) and those who do serve.

One Grandfather served as a Sergeant in the Philippines. He was in charge of a work crew of Filipinos who went out and worked cutting down bamboo each day. One particular day they were scouting a new area and came upon a stream. As Grandpa went to step into the water to cross an older Filipino man jumped in front of him, pointed at grandpa's shoes and signaled for my grandfather to allow this man to carry him across the water. Shoes were such a rarity and prize, the man could not allow them to become wet.... Now this is the moment I vividly remember as a child. Grandpa could not tell this story all these years later without tears shining in his eyes. I do not think my Grandfather ever had a day where he was not thankful for shoes. After several attempts to reassure the man that my Grandfather wanted to cross on his own, he finally allowed the man to carry him across.

Here in the United States, my other Veteran Grandfather met his dear wife. He tells of being on the town one night with other soldiers. They had stopped in a little place for dinner and all the tables were full except for one which had a few remaining seats. And they were in luck because the other seats were occupied by lovely ladies! (Side note: sometimes I think it would be a better world if we still shared tables) Grandpa began working his magic with the ladies talking with them and learning more about them. One girl in particular caught his eye who eventually became my Grandmother. But the story of the night that they both loved to share is that he said to one woman at the table, "You look like you have a little Italian in you." All the women at the table laughed and laughed, thoroughly confusing Grandpa. Eventually she stood up showing her pregnancy and announcing, "In fact, I do!"

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

You are the best as always!

I've always been interested in how phrases spread in society. Who first thought of "chillaxing" and why did it suddenly become an accepted term? Is chillaxing better than relaxing?

Two phrases have made a sudden emergence among my acquaintances. People are starting to say "Have a blessed day." and they are starting to say, "You are the best as always!!" Okay, maybe I watched too much PeeWee's Playhouse as a child but I feel like these are the secret words and I should yell every time I hear them! AAAAAH! then laugh and go about my day.

My friend and I were discussing the "blessed day" topic. Just once she said she'd like to answer with, "No." How awkwardly funny in the Michael Scott kinda way would that be... "Have a blessed day." "No." What would the blessing giver say? It does beg the question though if you think about it, is it your place to bless someone? How do you know they are religious and want to be blessed?

"You are the best as always!" has become the common email sign off when people are asking for things. "Can you shave my pet llama? You are the best as always!" Here is the sneaky part, it totally worked on me the first few times, I thought, I'm the best? Well heck yes I'll shave that llama! But now, I'm not so sure.... do I want to be the best carney at the carnival? Maybe this trick will work if we are ever invaded by aliens. "Hey space invader, can you not use poisonous gas on my neighborhood? You are the best as always!" It is the verbal equivalent of a Jedi mind trick.

Now chillax, leave a comment, You are the best as always! Have a blessed day!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


About 3 weeks ago I was rear ended on the freeway, yes I'm okay. No Josh's pickup was not, to the tune of about $8500. I have learned some things from this experience, first that it is way better to get rear ended by a pickup when in a pickup. I think it would have been much worse for me if I'd been in my car.

Also I am grateful for my good insurance company. Okay yes, they are my paycheck (I work there) but they rule. I was not at fault, but they are covering my damages while the other company tries to blame me for it. Our life moves forward. People, pay for good insurance. It is worth every penny.

I have also learned that when karma provides you a Dodge Challenger as your rental car for the price of a Dodge Neon, you say THANK YOU! Do you know how many people check me...or maybe it's just the car...out now? I'm a hot ticket! Hey baby, yes it's my....rental. Whatever, I'm so hot right now.

In the midst of all of this our other car has just about died. So we are car shopping and Josh is being super agreeable. I should be happy right? Instead I'm all nervous! I know what I want in a 4 door, hatchback, kid friendly (we are hoping to adopt and all) but seriously I get to pick as long as it meets the budget? I am for this responsibility. I can't pick out a dress for church without changing three times and you want me to pick the car? This is going to be an adventure for sure. I pity the poor eager car dealer who pounces on me this weekend, can you say sucker?

Pray for us & the sales man.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Adverbally Addicted

Seriously, I'm addicted. Honestly, I didn't realized it I was doing it until recently. Truthfully, I was chatting with my friend GPJ and I realized that I was starting each sentence with an adverb. Interestingly, I don't do think I do it when I speak, I think it is only when I type. Surprisingly, now that I've brought attention to the condition, I find it really hard to stop.

Seriously, it is hard to stop.

Uncommonly, hard to stop.

Intentionally, I have to go back and correct my sentences to make them not start we an adverb. Obviously, I've become the adverb Yoda of the chatting world.

Awfully monstorous, no?

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Lurve it!

Current list of things I lurve:
This text message from my brother

"September 2, 2010 - also known as 9/2/2010 - on that day, I will be dressed up like Dylan and will be looking for Kelly and Brenda. Brenda for the first part of the day, Kelly for the rest. I will get very angry when Donna gets thrown down the stairs. Reconcile with my recently released from prison father, only to have him be car bombed by mafia hit men. Then, have my newly taken in family steal all my money. Which would take me into an unrivaled TV dark place. Leading to me falling in love with the daughter of my father's killer. Her father hated me, tried to kill me, but accidentally killed her instead. Looking forward to it. It's going to be busy. We should have a 90210 party on that day."

Miranda Sings videos
I laugh until I cry. Josh describes it as seizures of laughter. It has been really great for homework breaks. Thank you my darling musical Mr. Xanadu for sharing this with me!
The Choir on BBC America
Josh stumbled across this show one day and I fell madly in love. A lovely show from England, the show follows choirmaster Gareth Malone as he works at an all boys school (and I think other schools in future episodes) creating the first choir the school has ever had. He goes from only having 30 boys signed up, to over 100 by the end of the year. He works with the boys individually and each week I come to adore some new boy. And...they are good little singers!! I was singing the song for days afterwards.
Now I was a choir geek so maybe that is part of why I like it so much, I miss choir. But I think more than anything, it reminds me that there is magic in this world. Magic in the simple joy of a child who find joy in singing, choirmasters who know that music can heal the soul and viewers like me who are cheering for their success. And though it wasn't perfect, it was a great success!
Lawry's Mediterranean Sundried Tomato & Garlic Chicken
It's one of those mix packets that you add to your food to make it tastier and boy did it. One more semester of school and I might start cooking again, but for now Lawry's Med Sundried Tomato & Garlic Chicken was delicious!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Head in the Clouds

Very rarely do we have a day in Phoenix where they sky is not radiantly clear blue. So I tend to notice when lovely clouds fill my cities sky. Clouds are a lot prettier when you don’t see them that often. I’ve noticed that two thoughts habitually cross my mind now when I see clouds. Alfred Stieglitz and the Simpsons.

If the clouds are spotty and perfectly poofy, I always hear “The Simpsons….” to the opening credits music. I thank Josh for this who will say to me, “It’s a Simpson’s weather day.” Bless him.

Alfred Stieglitz is the second thought. Stieglitz is a photographer who lived from 1864 – 1946 and was married to the more commonly known Georgia O’Keefe. Stieglitz has a fun name to say and he is very famous in the art world. I can guarantee you’ve seen at least one of his photos. In his late 50s, Al decided to start taking photos of clouds as a means to really show off his ability to take great photos of anything, no real subject matter needed. He’s a bit cocky that Alfred. But to his credit, they are breathtaking. Here’s the grip and why he holds a little portion of my conscious, a large portion of these cloud photos Alfred named after an emotion. A flurry of clouds would be “Anguish.” Airy full clouds would be “Content.” I may have at one categorized clouds as angry, but content? The thought had never crossed my mind at 19 when I learned about this collection. And to this day when I see clouds I Stieglitz them, I can’t help but try to put an emotion to my clouds. I wonder what Stieglitz would name them and if I’d agree. Maybe today the clouds we’d agree are simply “pleasant.”

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Change, change, change!

Do you know the Aretha Franklin song "Chain of Fools"? Until I was 18 I thought she was saying "Change, change, change! Change a fool!" I still think of that song when big occurrences happen in my life......changes such as JOSH AND I BUYING A HOUSE!!!! Yes! It finally happened. We are in and we love it.

The place is 3 bedroom, 2 bath with the biggest kitchen I've ever had the pleasure of cooking in since leaving home. But our favorite part? A pool! I think Josh has gone for a swim every night. We are homeowners! Thanks to all the helpers who hauled, carried and held our hand while we pouted about the process. Come swim whenever you want! I need one more thing though, we've always had a name for our apartments. The last being "Casa de Royale." New house needs a name, any suggestions?

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Eternal Bog of Stench!

One of the basic theories in my life is that all life experiences can be allegorically referenced to The Neverending Story, Labyrinth or Princess Bride. Today I'd like to tell the tale of Sarah and Hoggle.

Hoggle is a rude, short man thing that is the Sacajawea to Sarah's Lewis & Clark. Sarah must recover her half-brother Toby from David Bowie. Bowie spends most of the movie taunting Sarah, throwing obstacles in her way, telling goblins the boy has the "power of voodoo, who do? you do! You remind me of the boy!" Bowie is evil and yet enchanting, he's still kind of cool and rock starish. But don't let him draw you in, Bowie stands in the way of Sarah's goal (The boy with the power of voodoo, who do? You do!) and therefore we loathe him.

At one point Hoggle does something he isn't supposed to and gets them banished to the ETERNAL BOG OF STENCH! Which kind of reminds you of Yellowstone. It looks awful, you can tell it smells awful and Hoggle reminds us all that if we touch it in anyway we will smell like it forever!!! DOOOOM! Think about that, what would be worst than eternal stenchiness?

In the current LIVE in Life version of Labyrinth the following characters are cast.

Hoggle - realtor
Bowie - bankers
Sarah - Josh and I
Eternal Bog of Stench - mortgage process
Toby - my sanity

In the true spirit of Sarah say it with me now, "You have no power over me!"

Side note - if they were going to ever remake this movie, Lady Gaga could be an awesome Jareth the Goblin Queen.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Kick off your Sunday Shoes!

Half of this fancy foot work would be mine! I learned that I'm am unable to dance with my feet without including hands and frankly faces. I'm pretty fly for a white girl. Everybody cut, everybody cut, EVERYBODY CUT LOOSE!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

The Oversmile

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Now to look through old family photos and find proof of me doing this as I'm sure that I have. Enjoy!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Stop....Derby time!

Hey, angry people of Arizona, let's put aside our political differences for one day and enjoy the bliss of Kentucky!! Kentucky knows how to party! The only papers required are tickets and bets, how's that for fun? And the only things breathing heavily from their angry noses are horses! Everyone else is just slap happy, mingling, loving each other. Not to mention they are all wearing awesomely ridiculous clothing that is completely appropriate for the venue. It's an aristocratic version of Woodstock! And this is why I love it! It's hoighty toighty and yet still lovable, kinda like Michael Caine.

The derby is one of the random things I insist on going all out on. The whole family and anyone within my arms length I make pick a horse. This year I'm going with Dublin. Go Dublin Go! Found a website last year where you can create your own jockey silks, that's a new tradition. I'd be trotting my jockey out in light blue, purple and apple green. HOT MESS! I try each year to pretend I had $300 and could buy a derby hat. It ginormous...brings a tear to the eye of even the loudest of the purple and red hat club ladies.

But Derby day is where I shine or maybe go a bit crazy. I have a Derby menu I make every year. Non-alcoholic Mint Juleps, Benedictine (Pope dip), Henry Bain Sauce for the steak, Derby Pie. Delicious! We watch the really long pre-race show. Every year I wish I actually knew the lyrics to "My Old Kentucky Home" just like all the Kentuckians in the stands. Then I stand the entire race and yell like a crazy person at the TV. The actually race usually last 2:00 minutes max. Totally worth it. The race is this Saturday. Now is the time, pick your pony!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Caramel & Licorice

I've been asked for an update about the puppies so here ya go. And yes, I know they are dogs but I love them so forgive the mother like report. Josh took this majorly rad photo of our dogs when we took a homework break and went to the park yesterday. I love it. Both rear windows were down in the car but this is how they roll. My dogs are tight.

And they are thick as thieves at the park. They played with each other exclusively for the first 20 minutes simply revelling in the fact they had a larger area to do it in. Then they started making friends.

Mario is definitely the high strung one. He can run and run and run. If you say the word "park" in his presence he starts jump and honking (it's between and whine and a bark) he loves being out and playing. Our Mario, he loves intensely. When I get home for the day he follows me around until I sit down. Then climbs on the piece of furniture, stand over me and make sure everyone sees that I belong to him, that he and I are buddies. Once he's claimed me as his territory he snuggles right in and if I'll let him he won't move unless there is something to bark at.

Luigi is so chill, he has to be Polynesian. Luigi's version of fetch goes something like this. We throw the ball he chases Mario half way to the ball, then falls dead over on the ground, waits for Mario to do the rest of the running then gets up and chases Mario back to us. Luigi is a leaner. You'll be standing doing dishes or folding laundry and Luigi will come and find you and sit on your feet and lean into your legs. He has gorgeous golden eyes and this way of staring at you that just makes you know he loves you. Our local sister-in-law was getting the love stare last weekend and said, "Oh! Luigi has eyes just like Edward from Twilight." Maybe that's where Stephanie Meyer's got her inspiration. Edward is a hound dog. Lastly, Luigi doesn't not cuddle. Sure he'll let you love him for a few minutes but then the boy wants his space.

Okay that's our boys! Won't this be fun when I'm updating you on our children some day?

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Peeps Winner

Happy Easters Everybodies! "Hanging With My Peeps" was the winner of this years Peep Off. This peeps scene captures the basic flair of the book club of which Nancy and I both participate in. It features some of the books we've read and the fact that we always eat tasty meals! The prize van arrived at the home of Nancy yesterday to deliver her Peeps prize package. Come to find out she doesn't like the sugary delicious treats (blasphemer) so she took the coloring books but left the treats for me to enjoy!

Congratulations Nancy!! 350 or so days until next years competition, start planning now! I'm busy trying to figure out how to make peeps dance. I learned this year that microwaving a peep is not as funny as I thought it might be and that the new chocolate covered peeps are not delicious. Classic is where it's at!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Peep Off!

The Peep Off Competition Judging starts today!! Vote for your favorite peeps entry using the voting tool in the top right hand corner. You choose the winner. Remember the Winner receives glory and bragging rights along with a prize package of Peeps paraphernalia. Voting closes at midnight April 1st.

Leaning Tower of Peepsa

Peep Pyramid & Sphynx

Hanging With My Peeps

Peep Airlines

Peeps School Work

Peep N' Slide

Peep War Scene

Friday, March 26, 2010

Peeps Deadline

Midnight tomorrow is the the peeps entries deadline! We have some good competition this year. I will post them Sunday morning for voting. Great creative and good luck!!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


I scored a pick at the concert! I'm almost thirty and I totally did a jig of joy and ran to Josh to show him my prize!! Woohoo! I was totally being rewarded!
Okay maybe it was because I was super close to the stage and karma might have paid us back for helping a girl find her drivers license & credits cards that she'd dropped in the dirt. While looking wham there the golden nuggets awaited, one for me and one for GPJ. We were rewarded bounteously! Whatever it was that brought us the good will, after probably 30 concerts I finally own a piece of the magic that happens on stage. I might tuck it in my pillowcase tonight.

Walk away me boys!

Today is a high holy holiday at the Haws household! It's a Patty's Day Bash with Molly for us. Thought you might want a taste of it!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Power to the Peeples!!

“Spring time a ring a ding a ding time. Birds sing! A ding, a ding, ding, ding! Sweet lovers love the spring!” Mr. Wonka, you are a delight! Willy and I share a love of all things spring (perfect weather, spring training games, blooming cacti) but we also share a love of candy. And ya’ll Easter time brings out the best candies mankind has ever created. Starburst jellybeans, Cadbury eggs and glorious gooey scrumdiddlyumptious Peeps!

Last year I started a little competition – the Peep Off. (Yes I totally stole this idea from a newspaper, but it makes me happy!) The idea is to use Peeps as an art medium. There are no restrictions; the only rule is you MUST use Peeps!! I will tell you that last year’s winner already has plans for their submission. It’s on like Donkey Kong folks!

Okay so for logistical reasons here is the boring stuff: Submit a photo or video to the competition by March 27th. Email it to me at my dedicated Peep Off email: Submission will then be posted on the blog for voting. Voting will begin March 28th and close April 1st. Winner receives glory and bragging rights along with a prize package of Peeps paraphernalia. Fancy that, fancy feast!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Nunchuck skills

Okay I told Jel she had 48 hours to blog this amazing story and she didn't so I am. We had a nice Sunday dinner with our friends and we are all sitting around enjoying some friendly banter when out of nowhere Jel yells, "Seriously guys! Check out my Napolean Dynamite neighbor." So we all sneak to the window and this is what we see.... (excuse my bad drawing, we didn't have a camera)
The neighbor was practicing his nunchucking skills!! And I immediately said, "Open the window, we gotta hear if he chanting or grunting or hiyaing!" But no, the guy is silent as the night. All you can hear is the whipping sound of the nunchucks flinging in the breeze which incidently sounds like a really ancient toy helicopter. So we close the door and we are giggling and starting to loose interest when the view suddenly changes to this.....

FIRE FLINGING NUNCHUCKING SKILLS!!! Now I need an excuse to go meet my friends neighbor because hello!!! I need this guy on the Red Dawn team.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Kick Punch Kick!

Today my coworker was doing some proactive stretching, doing some dramatic kick, punch, kicking moves. And I caught myself rapping "kick, punch, kick!" And suddenly it was major flash back time!!! This lovely face flashed before my eyes....

Do any of you know who he is?? Only the greatest Playstation game of all time!! It's PaRappa the Rappa!! Somebody say Ho!!

My sister had a Playstation the year I was a freshman in college. I would drive to her home and we would spend the weekend (when we weren't busy being karaoke rockstars) playing PaRappa the Rappa. We slayed at this game!!!! It was essentially the base theory for Dance Dance Revolution. You had to push the game buttons in rhythm with the raps that PaRappa was learning on his journey to becoming a hero. Yes, all you do for 12 levels is push buttons in rhythm to music. Get what, get back. It's awesome----ish!! I have fond memories of playing and singing all the words to "I gotta believe!" The game was a lot more challenging if you tried to sing while pushing the buttons.

Seriously ya'll, check out this wicked awesome website that shows how classy this game was...if you pick videos you can see game play. Master Chief has nothing on PaRappa! He can't even carry a tune, that's why he has all this pent up shooting alien aggression. PaRappa what's he got? "I gotta be me!"

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Adult Binkies

Brought to you straight from the pages of my new best selling motivational pamphlet, "Even You Can Enjoy Strangers" I give you an excerpt about rants.

Everyone likes to believe they are an expert at something. This leads some of us to blog and some of us to randomly rant about topics in inappropriate situations. As an observer, some times fighting crazy with crazy is the best tactic to quickly diffuse the situation. For those times when you are stuck listen to someone incessantly argue the values of feeding a pet only homemade meals or how the downfall of society is the music industry this is my new favorite trick. When all else fails and you can't get the ranting to stop, just insert the Adult Binky or Adult Nuck-Nuck. This trick is applied by picking an equally absurd topic and talking as passionately as they are about the absurdity.

This weekend I chose to explain my unfounded dislike of Canada. I'm telling you that people get outraged about this. "Why would you hate Canada? They are so nice. What have they ever done to us? They have free health care! " I'll admit I think the plan worked so well because I had a wing man. She jumped right in suggesting we dig a moat and fill it with crocodiles to keep the Canadians from crossing the border. Maybe even flamethrowers, granted border towns would smell like bacon but we'd be free from intruders. We just kept going and going until...

The original crazy closed his honker and we were able to enjoy a nice dinner. Yes, some call this avoidance. I call it Adult Binky.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Domesticated Lions

I read Wicked and Son of a Witch over the summer. Son of a Witch is better.

In both books Animals can speak. They are intelligent beings and until the wizard goes all evil they live as ordinary "people" in the land of Oz. By the second book things are not so hot for the Animals. There is a particular scene where a Lion is being kept as a family pet. The way it is described in the book it would be like keeping your neighbor Anna chained up in the backyard as a pet because she has curly hair. The Lion is submitting to it because he is fed regularly and basically cared for. When the boy Liir stares at him in disbelief, the Lion becomes angry and growls something to the effect of, "Just because I'm domesticated, doesn't mean I'm not hungry!!!" It's so frightening that Liir and you as the reader turn and flee figuring that if you don't you are the Lion's next meal.

I'm feeling a bit like that this last week. I know I've chosen my life and that I ultimately have the control. I could make things happen and I do, I am. It's the patience I lack and I sure am hungry! I guess I'm just frustrated craving creme brulee and getting oreos. Not that oreos are bad, they just aren't what I wished for.

So I'm just putting it out there to the universe I'd like a serving of creamy yet crunchy creme brulee please! And if it could be non-fat that would be a major bonus!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The King

Aside from the fact the the Burger King guy maybe the single most frightening image on TV right now, he also thinks he's a sneaky pirate. But no sir!! I have your number hamburger man! EXPOSE!! ha ha hu hu he! (that's my french laugh) That's right I've picked up on your little evil plan and I'm totally calling you out old school playground style. So gather round, are you ready??

Burger King is trying to get us all to switch to onion rings. That's right!! I said it!!

Okay here's how the theory hatched: I haven't ordered french fries from BK in maybe 8 months that there has not been a succulent perfect tasty onion ring in my fries to entice me to the oniony dark side of adulthood. Doesn't it seem like once you like onions your old? Suddenly your taste buds have grown up? It's the final threshold. So tonight, we are munching away, (don't judge me people cause I eat fast food) and hark! there it awaits. One tasty golden ring. And then I look and Josh has one too! Then I realized, I was expecting one delicious ring. Frankly because they are always stinking there. Here is where I closed the conspiracy gap...those BK TV creepers are purposely providing one delicious onion ring in each box slowly making us all addicted. "They put an addictive chemical in it that make you crave for it nightly!!"

The benefits of switching the populations to rings:

  1. I bet they are cheaper to produce. It's not like there is a whole state called the Onion State. Idaho, you've pushed their hand.
  2. It takes fewer rings than fries to fill up the same box.
  3. Lastly, Ogres are like onions.

Listen here Mr. Burger King. You are making a play for my last childhood strong hold, my dislike of onions. And though I know it was probably time for me to grow up, it is the sneakiness that has betrayed our relationship and the Hamburglar and I won't stand for it. Consider yourself unfriended.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Mario & Luigi

Once upon a time there was our favorite dog named Mario. He looks a little three legged in this picture but he's not. He's a handsome regal beast, who let's Josh be the Alpha and Ellen be the love of his life. He's a perfect fit! But Mario needed a buddy, his life just didn't seem complete....

And so Josh announces one Sunday afternoon, "I'm going to find Mario a friend." And by Monday night we had another dog!! Josh was across town getting a soda at the AMPM gas station and there was a little puppy. He called to it and it came to him. After a thorough check from the vet and a promise he carried no disease that would hurt our Mario, we welcomed a little puppy!! Then began the name game....this was hard! We debated over Sero (evening in Italian..AMPM reference, my sister she's cool), Ryu (Nintendo street fighter character, loved it because he was a street dog) and Luigi (obvious reasons) were discussed and fretted over. After watching the dogs play and snuggle for a few days we settled on Luigi.

He has a white chest like Mario and a bit of white coloring on his toes. He has this amazing face that we finally got a really great picture of. He seems to be the wise old man of the two. He plays with energy but he is always the first to settle down. He not the cuddle bug Mario is. He's plenty happy to get his scratch, some love and then go lay on his bed to nap. All the puppies independent throw your paws up at me!! Mario loves it because then he can come plot down in my lap and snore for two hours.

We've got ourselves a gruesome twosome! Welcome home Luigi!! Now that I've re-read this it feels very Christmas family flyer but whatever.... pin a rose on your nose. Merry freaking Christmas.

Monday, January 18, 2010

New Puppy

Help name me! My brother puppy is named Mario, so my parents are thinking Nintendo or Italian.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Favorite phrases in the last week

  1. "Eventually they'll be a herd immunity and people won't get so sick." - Ok!!! Is Herd Immunity not the greatest new band name?? I was mega excited about it, ran home and immediately changed our rock band name.
  2. "I'm done talking to womens. They don't know as well as mens." - Yeah, I'd been trying to help this guy for half of the day with something and he now suddenly thinks "mens" are going to make it betters? Eat rocks and die.
  3. "Fruitcup." This is Josh's new pet name for everyone. How you doing, fruitcup? Take that fruitcup. I own you fruitcup!! It makes me laugh every time.
  4. "It wasn't really all that bad." Josh said this as we drove home tonight from a young women's sports event. 136 girls playing volleyball all at once. I coordinate it all and I bullied Josh into refereeing one of the courts for me. I thought it was fun but exhausting, he thought it wasn't really all that bad.
  5. "Bret Michaels?? He's so irrelevant!" Our book club got a bit distracted and started talking about reality TV. One of our members doesn't have cable and they were filling her in on dating TV showing on MTV. This is my favorite response ever!
  6. We just went outside to watch it rain and I was shivering away. My sweet husband looks at me and exclaims"Are you cold? I will hug you!" and then he mauled me! I love him!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010



Doesn't it look like that's what the lady in the background is saying? Why does she look so surprised? And you know she made an audible noise. "Oi!" "Argh!" "Bwoink!" This is how I would be caught too, making a weird face and in my grey shirt and black pants. CURSES! This is why I am going to try to dress fiercer in 2010. I do like her shoes better than Gwen's though!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Keep being AWESOME!

Personal disclaimer: I love me some Vegan food. I think if you want to live the Vegan life style more power to you. I just had to share. The T-Rex image on this just made me cackle. Look at that wacky tongue. Roar!!