Tuesday, March 29, 2011


Peeps are on the shelves, partners! And you know what that means? We’re gonna have ourselves a good old fashioned Peep Off!! Third year running! What’s that? You never did hear of a Peep Off? Well it only the single most intense and heated Easter Candy challenge on this here blog! You do your best to outwit the competition by submitting the best peeping art exhibit possible. The only rule is you must use Peeps as your main art medium.

Send your photos or video to my Peep Off email: peepsshow@gmail.com by High Noon April 13th. Voting will begin April 15th and end April 19th. The last man standing wins Peeps paraphernalia and glory! Now get yourself out there buckaroo and peep up the good work!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Bob Barker's Biggest Nightmare

So each week at church the women get some time to share a "good news moment" with each other. This week was particularly awesome. One darling sister raised her hand and said, "We are having another set of kittens at our house this week. We are in DESPERATE need of families needing kittens. If you know of anyone who would like a kitten we would love to give them one." People kind of laughed and another sister said, "So everyone take a kitten!" And the the kitten owner said, "No really we have like 30 kittens." To which every one sort of laughed and gasped.

Here is where to me it got awesome. "We don't mean to keep having so many kittens, but the cats bother my mom and so she keeps putting the cats out on the street. And then uh-oh! We have more kittens." So Mom's the one turning them out!

And people were so cute coming to her aid offering up things they knew about how to help her find those who were seeking animals. All I could imagine was the red light cat district. Clearly I was not on my game today. But I wasn't the only one.....

After a few suggestions the woman conducting the meeting in the most loving voice and demeanor said, "Okay, well, I'm not sure that was a "Good News Moment" but thank you for sharing. Does anyone else have something to share?" My ability to silent Muppet laugh came in might handy today! I love these women!!

But seriously, if you want a kitten, they have like 30.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Aliens love Barry White

I sat straight up in bed last night at 4:00 AM with the full knowledge that I may have just dreamt the next Tony winning musical. How does one go about writing and producing a musical? The dream was so vivid I actually ran to the computer in the other room. Some people may have started frantically typing down the script but not me. No I frantically googled it to make sure the musical didn’t exist and that I wasn’t just dreaming something I had overheard. However, in a very reassuring moment I am completely original! Confirmed by Google! (How great would that be on a tshirt? “Confirmed by Google.” Bwah ha ha ha)

Okay if you will all virtually pinky swear not to steal my idea this is part of what went down. I woke up singing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot with the image of aliens who are obsessed with the music that they can pick up from our world via radio waves. All kinds of music: gospel, pop, rap, rock, ska. They can’t get enough of it. So the show is kind of a fun musical review of music history across all genres. Also we get some good laughs with songs taken completely out of context. Their favorite artist? Barry White. Who doesn’t love Barry White?!?

I know exactly how the aliens are supposed to look, what the stage is supposed to look like, and I know some of the songs that are supposed to be included. Not to mention this is a show that could continuously be updated. After a few years, just do a “revival” and update the songs. You know Rhianna is going to have some new rubbish that you could add to the show.

And that is what would make this show awesome. Music is all about how much some songs speak to us and also how much we hate other songs. The aliens unabashed love of all of it, Who Let the Dogs Out included, could lead to a great message of acceptance. Or start riots in the audience when they bust out a little Chumbawumba.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Dream Job 1: Professional Clapper

I have a short list of random dream jobs. Some I know exist and some I'd just like to believe exist. At the top of this list, right under the Mama job, is Professional Clapper. What you might ask is a professional clapper? On a road trip maybe ten years ago my brother the older and I were entertaining ourselves by sharpening up our clapping skills while clapping along to some sweet tunes. Then the though occurred, in some recording studio somewhere a human (or machine, but in my dream a human) was paid to perform studio quality claps! I could own that job!! These hands were made for clapping, and that's just what they'll do! One of these days these hands are going to clap on your album for you!

Wait, now before you roll your eyes, think about the total sweetness of a job like this. You get to meet rock stars. It would probably go like this, "Hi Mr. Grohl, what's that? Why yes, I have been practicing staccato claps. Thank you for noticing! I'd love to be the hand percussion on your next album, have your people call my people. Ciao." You'd have full access to music prior to release date. In a tight pinch you could become "The Clapper" hands. And you'd always have work as long as country stars write drinking anthems, which is pretty much always.

Music execs consider this my professional offer to put these hands to work. Have your people call my people.