Monday, April 27, 2009

The devil is a professor

I learned at church last week that there are over 100 names for Jesus in the scriptures. And this week I learned a new name for Satan. Professor.

I am not naive enough to think that a class called Research Methods should be easy. And it's not. However, how did I go from having 45 minute to an hour of home each week to just finishing eight and a half hours worth of homework for this week?? All so I can write a 32 page, 5421 word document on a hypothetical potential research project that I will never actually research? No lying, there was a moment in class where we all realized, so we're just supposed to make the majority of this up? That's right folks, cause I'm supposed to write 4 letters I'll never mail and make a survey that I'll never survend. (is that even a word?)

In my researchy dream world, I'm reimbursing people for medical expenses. Take that no guidelines!! My research may potentially end up costing more money that it would ever make and I'm okay with that. In my researchy dream world, my research may solve world hunger or stop swine flu or somehow make me famous.

Cause you know what happens when your famous? You have a world premier of your movie in Tempe AZ and they close the freeway for you for 15 minutes at rush hour. You get a six black suburban, two motorcycle cops and one cop car escort to the movie theater. Did you solve world hunger or stop swine flu? Nah! You made a movie. Heroes escort!

Well guess what Wolverine? I can reference like one bad mama jamma. Top that tin man.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Beware....Beware the Shreiking Eels!

"Do you know what that sound is, highness? Those are the shrieking eels! If you don't believe me, just wait. They always grow louder when they're about to feed on human flesh! If you swim back now I promise no harm will come to you...I doubt you'll get such an offer from the eels. "

Anyone else think there is something ominous in the fact that the fridge in my new apartment sounds a little like the shrieking eels Vizzini warns Buttercup about? You don't notice it during the day, but at night when you go in to fill up your water with precious refrigerated water or grab a cheese stick. Oh the wailing!!

I'm going to take it as my refrigerators nice way of reminding me I'm trying to lose weight by terrifying the inner child in me each time I step in my kitchen. Maybe this place has some hidden ROUSes to help me get my dishes done and a sandpit that will force me into timely homework completion.

I think I just wrote a good sales pitch for What about Bob 2. "Dedication by Terror: New Steps to Improving Your Life" by Dr. Leo Marvin.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Inner, Inner Office, Inner Office Pressure!!

I am not the youngest employee in my office but I am the most technically savvy. It appears that at my job there is a space-time continuum that happens when you reach the age of 40 where you lose 70% of your computer technical abilities. Zoom! It’s just gone. And for some reason, I think it’s kind of cute. I like getting out of my chair to help people make a PDF document, create a folder. Makes me feel helpful and like I did my scoutly good turn daily.

Today I overheard the single best technology conversation:

Him: My blackberry made me change my password this weekend.
Her: I hate that.
Him: The problem was I forgot the password!
Her: Oh No!
Him: Did you know if you try it 10 times with the wrong password that the blackberry erases all of the information on it?
Her: That is quite the consequence!

I cried due to holding in the giggles. I’m laughing even now. Sometime technology just isn’t fair ya’ll. I did tell him I could think of worse consequences. It could have emailed everyone in his contacts all the pictures on his phone. It could of given him a low grade shock each time he put in the wrong password or better yet, it could have exploded. Now that is quite the consequence.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

And the winner is.....

Peep House!
Congratulations to our winner and thank you to all of our lovely contestants. You rock. Watch for your packet in the mail.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Peep Show contestants

Contestant #1 - Totem Peep!

Note the rare Easter Egge peach flavored peeps, chocolate mousse peep and tulip shaped peep.

Contestant #2 - Peeps at the Air Show!

Contestant #3 - Peep House

Vote for your favorite using the buttons in the right side bar. Good luck contestants!!

Monday, April 6, 2009

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Where's all my Peeps?

I love spring. I love green grass, blooming trees, spring training, the feeling of being twitterpated. (Thank you Bambi for some outstanding lingo!) I love me some springtime. I also love it because it mean Easter, which means Easter candy….which means PEEPS!!

I consider myself a Peeps aficionado. Purely based upon consumption. I am sure I have eaten hundreds of Peeps over my lifetime. I can tell you that without a shred of doubt, chick peeps are better than bunny peeps. The sugar/mallow balance on a chick peep is yin-yang like in its perfection. Bunny peeps there is too much sugar which means too much mess. Also when you separate the bunnies they lose their form, which causes them to lose major presentation points. What do you want to eat? A perfect shaped chick or a deformed bunny? Also…. Don’t waste your time…just buy yellow. If you must, pink than blue. But yellow is the way to go. Classic and tasty, sure the sugar isn’t flavored, but I promise they taste better. Wouldn’t an Iron Chef episode with the secret of Peeps be the best?? And did you know that peeps are an art medium? That’s right….check out the Peeps Show!! Sounds sexy but it’s g-rated I promise….

So bring it. I challenge you to a Peep Off. You don’t have to do a diorama just do something fun with Peeps and take a photo or a video and submit it to the competition. Submissions can be sent to me at to be posted on this blog. Final submission date of April 7th. We’ll have voting on April 8th, with a winner announced April 9th. Winner will of course have tons of glory and I will mail you a Peeps Prize package with yellow chick peeps and other Peeps paraphernalia.

Game on! Watch for my submission this week!