Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Fail Sauce

I have totally failed at Christmas blogging this year or as Josh would say, "fail sauce." I don't know where my brain is this year. I keep forgetting things, major important things. Also small things like blogging. Wah-Wah. And so in a spirit of resolution at my lack of completing this task, I say Merry Christmas to you all!! Better luck to me next year!!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Cold Hearted Snake!

Today I spread Christmas cheer by watching Christmas Wipeout. It was epic! Favorite challenge? Cold Hearted Snake. Some of the best wipeouts ever!!

Go find it! Hilarious!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Favorite Christmas Story

Sunday at church for Young Women's we are teaching our Christmas lesson. The presidency had a really fun idea that each leader bring their favorite Christmas story and read it to the girls. Here is where my predicament begins.

I don't have a very large collection, or really no collection, or Christmas stories. I didn't realize what a Grinch I was. I come from good stock when it comes to these types of collections. My mom probably has 100 Christmas books. It is fun to visit her house and read them. Books about Santa, books about Jesus. It is a great collection. I just haven't caught the bug yet....

But then lightening struck this morning. I couldn't stop singing one of Michael McLean's Forgotten Carols. I realized I do have lots of Christmas stories, they are just all musical! I am looking forward to playing "Dream [Handel]" for the girls on Sunday. It is one of my favorite Christmas stories.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Best gifts?

I quite often get sucked in by websites promising me the best or newest great gift to give. This year I was reviewing the top 100 best gifts as predicted by Amazon. Most of the things on the list were predictable, gadgets, perfume, fruit baskets. And then I found their 4 best books to give section. I was getting all excited thinking I'd found myself a little reading list of the books published this year that I had missed. Are you ready for the top 4 books of 2011?!?

1. Extended version of "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest"
2. Harry Potter book 6
3. Lord of the Rings series
4. The Chronicles of Narnia series

Yeah, not a single one written this year. Best buys of 2011? Maybe it should have said most purchased books of 2011. If that is so, I'm glad to see these classics living on, but slightly disappointed that according to Amazon nothing good has been printed or written since Harry P. I guess I can take comfort that Twilight is not on the list. Yes, I read them but they in no way rank with C.S. Lewis.

So the list was a swing & a miss! Have you read any great books this year?

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The best way to spread Christmas cheer...

Merry 12 Days of Christmas blogging! This is my third year running on blogging about Christmas for all 12 Days. It may be a little more tricky this year, newborn and all, but yes, it shall be conquered!

Buddy the Elf is my favorite elf. He says that "the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear." In attempts to get our four month old son in the holiday spirit I've been busting out some awesome Christmas songs. I'm surprised at how large my holiday repertoire is! I even have a few Hanukkah songs up my sleeve! But as I wound down thinking the insanity was almost over, I was suddenly transported back to third grade and remembered some Christmas songs that frankly I can't believe I ever forgot.

That's right. I could suddenly remember the words to "Santa's using Zebras now." A classic little diddy about how"Donner, Blitzen all the reindeer put him on the spot! They were use to ice and cold but Africa was hot!" So, of course Santa uses zebras. It's a very spicy number.

But my favorite that has returned from the recesses of my memory is "Santa Your Too Fat." It goes a little something like this,

"I heard a reindeer hoof,
then Santa dressed in red,
Came crashing through the roof,
And landed on my bed.
I thought it was a dream,
but quickly did I wake,
as soon as I heard Santa scream,
"I want a piece of cake!"

OOOOOOOoooooh! Santa Claus, Santa Claus, you are much to fat!
I was sleeping peacefully but now my bed is flat!
OOOOOOOOoooooh! Santa Claus, Santa Claus how much do you weigh?
I'm glad I'm not a reindeer that has to pull your sleigh."

Unfortunately I don't remember the second verse because I always chose to take the descant "Ho! Ho! Ho!" However, I know that the last line we used to all yell really loud, "SANTA YOUR TOO FAT!"

Not the nicest Christmas song ever, but you know the boy is going to love it in a few years. Chunky Santa forever! Viva los chunk!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Pop Up Video!

Oh yeah boy! It's back!! Pop Up Video. And I will tell you straight up that I am addicted. I mean who doesn't want to learn needless information while watching music videos? Because you never know when you might get to audition to be a Music Video Jeopardy Contestant.

I'll take celebrity arguments for $4000, Alex.

Gwen Stefani wrote Hollaback Girl in response to what celebrities snide public remarks?

Ding, ding, ding! Who is Courtney Love?

Oh yeah!! I just banked $4000. That is B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Also how great would it be if you could turn the Pop Up Video bubbles on in real life? Boring church meetings, waits at the doctor's office. Pop! "This gentleman once trained as a cage fighter." or "This office receives 25 magazines a month. Only 12 make it to the waiting room, the remaining go home with Nurse Smith." or "Newlywed! Married last weekend!" Intriguing right? It could be fun! I would just want the option to turn it off, perma-Pop could become overwhelming almost like have 4 harajuku girls that follow you around all the time. That could make you B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Toys vs. Treasures

We have a box that comes out every time we have kids in the house and written on the side of the box in large letters is the word "TOYS." This weekend we had the most excellent privilege of having my sister, nephew and niece visit. As my niece dug through the box she busily renamed all the stuffed animals, one penguin will forever be Sunset now, and quickly she separated the toys into what interested her and what didn't. And then she found it and you could almost see the world go into slow motion for a minute.

In the toy box is a Cinderella music box. When you open it you can fold out two mirrors and put Cinderella and her prince on the dance floor, wind the music and then as it plays "So This Is Love" they dance. I helped her set it up and for 20 seconds she was completely mesmerized. Then she looked at me and said, "That's it?" Ha ha, yes that's it.

My sister got laughing and explained that yes, this is how it works something is special but only for about 20 seconds. And so my 5 year old niece carried it back to the box, set it to the side and continued to play with other toys. However as bedtime approached I was presented with the music box.

"Aunt Ellen?"
"Aunt Ellen, this is not a toy. This is a treasure. Sometimes when people treasure things they give them to younger people that they love. If you feel that you might love me and be ready to give this to me, I could be happy."
"Well okay. Let me think about it."
"Okay, for now I'll just take it to my room so I can have it near."

She then delicately carried it down the hall to her room. We just melted into giggles. How smart is she? An brilliant noggin I tell you. I mean really how do you say no to that? And so my sister advised that if I was asked again and wasn't ready to part with my "treasure" all I had to do was say something very Disney like, "On your 16th birthday at the stroke of midnight if I don't have any daughters, it is all yours."

Ah yes, now I see where the brilliant noggin comes from.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Man Swing

Did you know we've become parents? For part of our journey we spent several weeks in the hospital. One particularly sleepy night Josh was sitting in the wooden rocker and he got expounding on the great wonder that is the process of rocking. Let me remind you, it came out pretty fast and flowing, he was tired and the thoughts were just bubbling out.

"I love to rock. It is so soothing. You know what is the only bad thing about this rocker? It is man propelled. I have to push. Sometimes you can push really hard and get several rocks out of one push, but then, it stops! I always seems to need three more rocks before I'm asleep and so the process starts all over, I wake up, push almost fall asleep then the momentum stops." Here he sighed...

"But man do I love to rock. You know what would be a great invention? If they could figure out how to make man sized swings like they have for babies. I would totally buy one and just swing and swing and swing. Do you know how relaxing that would be? Very. It clearly calms down a crying baby. Imagine what it would do to a grown man. Talk about stress relief. That right there is a million dollar idea, man swing."

Then there were a few minutes of silent rocking and then just for good effect he said one more time...

"Man I love to rock."

Friday, July 22, 2011

Millions of Peaches, Peaches for me!

Some bionic change has occurred in me in which I crave nutrients! I seem to desire to eat nothing but fruit and vegetables. My body may possibly be gearing up for the great fruit and vegetables war of 2011 in which mankind devours as many fruits and vegetables as possible in one day. Poor defenseless vegetables. Unguarded low hanging fruit, you are so easily picked off! How will you fight back? You can't! All you can do is make us healthy and for that we love you!

In this pursuit for total food group annihilation Josh and I made a groceries run last night. I needed broccoli salad (that is all I wanted for dinner). As we shopped the sweet fragrance of peaches called to me! Being ever the diplomat I made Josh buy his own morsels, it is every man for himself in this devouring. No sharing. And so in a fair turn of diplomacy, he taunted me on the drive home by deliciously eating said fragrant fruit. It smelled outrageously good and as he reenacted the "Mmmm...oooh, this is delicious" seen from What About Bob I couldn't help but laugh. Eventually he offered me a bite. Glorious!

As he quickly finished the first peach he dug around in the bag for the next. Suddenly he stopped and said, "Uhhh, my stomach hurts!"

I joking replied, "Probably because you ate the produce sticker and it is dicing up your intestines."

All color then dropped from Josh's face and he said, "There was a sticker?"

Guess the fruit can fight back.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Rock Anthem for the Green Lantern

*******Sing this to yourself like the lead singer from Poison/Def Leopard or White Snake! Your choice. Just put on the big hair and awesome rockerness!********

Woah, oh! Green Lanterns, what can you be?
Tell us now, what is your mystery?
You fight for good, your multi-galaxy
You’re stronger than the Ming Dynasty!

You are…….Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!!
Woah oh! Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!!
Bending will with your brains!
Creating swords, guns and chains!
Even some aeroplanes!
Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!

And did you know that they can fly?
Backflips, spins, dramatic dives
Acrobats of the sky!
Space gymnasts fly by the moon!
Bela Karolyi begins to swoon.

You are…….Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!!
Woah oh! Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!!
Bending will with your brains!
Creating swords, guns and chains!
Even some aeroplanes!
Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!

Even Lanterns walk on lover’s lane.
Carol Ferris is his Mary Jane.
From heartfelt moment moments they do not flee
True love helps them to find their destiny!

CHORUS – with professional clapping
You are…….Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!!
Woah oh! Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!!
Bending will with your brains!
Creating swords, guns and chains!
Even some aeroplanes!
Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!
Mind Ninjas from OUTER SPACE!!!!

Monday, June 6, 2011


This story has very little to do with me or Josh. But it makes me laugh every time I think about it. My brother the eldest came home from college one summer with a sweet lady (his future wife) on his mind. He pined.

One of his “hope she doesn’t forget me” projects was a tape of all his favorite songs. Love songs. He worked and worked on that tape. Is this song okay, is it too weird that song ends with the guy yelling? We consulted and eventually he had created a perfect mix. Absolutely lovely, no girl could resist. So he packaged it all up with a nice note and mailed it off to her.

However, the perfect mix is not the tape future sister in law received. Nope. She received 90 minutes of the two younger brothers making up songs and practicing their fart noises. Not exactly the effect Brother the Older was going for. He was not a happy camper when she called to report and rightfully so. But that is just too funny to be empathetic. Go with me to the package delivery…..

You get a package from the boy you dated that semester at school. Inside is a mix tape in it which all girls know is the ultimate symbol of love. Thank you 80s movies! You head to your boom box put the tape in, push play and open the letter. As you start to read your love letter, taking in how nice his handwriting is and the sweet introduction you are rudely interrupted by the Beef Log* song and two little boys laughing. It is this moment, that no matter what is going on in my life, if I picture this moment...I laugh. Sorry sister, it is just funny.

Bless her for being patient enough to seek clarification. What I wouldn’t give to get my hands on that tape. Solid family history there.

** Beef Log Lyrics ** from Space Ghost Coast to Coast
Beef Log, Beef Log what a treat!
A hefty hunk of processed meat!
Dipped in Mustard oh what joy, I’m a jolly beef log boy!

Brak, I beg to disagree, cheese log in the log for me.
As a meal or as a snack, it’s my favorite source of saturated fat!
Cheese log, cheese log, cylindrical and yellow
Pass the cheese log and I’m a happy fellow!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

It's a Birthday Bear!

I am one of the weirdos who begs to go to girls camp every year. I LOVE it. I can't help myself. Singing the same 12 songs over and over, games, crafts, chores & bears oh my! Yes, bears!! Okay get your snuggy on because this is one mega campfire story!

I'm biased but I'm just going to say that we have the best bishop ever. He brought up ice cream and cake for our young women as a special treat on Sunday. So after treat time and dinner, some of our girls had gone back up to the addie to socialize. (Addies are some mutant cabin/tent combo. The bottom half is cabin, the top half is tent-ish. The centaurs of camping really.) And so there they lounge in the addies and suddenly there he is. Feet up on the door, checking out what food the girls might have. My understanding is quite a bit of screaming occurred.

A rescue mission ensued and all girls were quickly accounted for. And what did Jimmy Aslan (his pet name) want? Food! Free delicious food! He stole the closed Igloo. He hauled it up the mountain and our Priesthood leaders, now bear trackers & defenders, said he only stopped to eat the Rocky Road ice cream. Everything else he left behind. A bear after my heart. Rocky Road is delicious!!

And so for safety sake all those sleeping in the centaur addies were relocated to full cabins. Phew! We had survived a bear encounter!

But wait, that would be to easy! You see, Jimmy Aslan is a persistent bear. Who really likes camp food! And so he was back for a little breakfast, and then a little lunch. He knew it was my birthday, he wanted in on the party.

The final kicker was when my dear friend went to run and grab her camera from the safety of a cabin and as she rounded the corner there he was! Jimmy Aslan strikes a fourth time! So she had a little heart to heart with him.

"Jimmy Aslan, I don't think you are supposed to be here. I think you are supposed to be far away." How cool is she? I probably would have said something like "Holy crow, bear. Please don't eat me." Then I would have gone into a whole series of nonsense phrases (Number 5 is alive. I see only 4 lights! Tell them Large Marge sent you.) and probably ended with a primary song. She is way cooler in the face of a bear than me. Everybody high five Sister Vest, the bear whisperer.

So yeah, at this point we had a bear "problem." Jimmy Aslan had claimed our territory. It was time for us to shove along home. And so we evacuated the dance floor! You win this round, J. Aslan, but we will be back....probably without Rocky Road ice cream.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

There is a technical support call….

I’m a mammal who likes my creature comforts. I have my “spot” on the couch. I have my floaty I like to lounge on in the pool. And I LOVE my air conditioner. So when it had some dicey behavior last week, I mourned. And so we called for an HVAC hero because after trying to fix it on our own twice, I was ready for AC Slater to be in full fighting form again.

They don’t mess around with heat in AZ, so HVAC superman actually came and saw us on the weekend. The heat had owned me at that point so I was soaking in the box fan breeze and lightly napping off a wicked headache. I’m going to let you experience this like I did, I kept waking up and catching parts of what was going on.

First, I heard the guy climb on the roof and whack a few metal things. Then Josh came in the room and shut the window, turned off the fan and teased me about cooling the whole neighborhood. I think I grumbled “AC?” and Josh said, “Yes ma’am, all systems are activated.” Nice Star Trek reference.

The next thing I heard was the gentlemen ask Josh what he did for a living. Josh told him about his computer wizardry and the HVAC guy who had just saved me from certain death told Josh he had a “notebook that wasn’t working too good.” My next memory is Josh and his new best friend joking and laughing and Josh getting the guy a drink.

Maybe an hour later Josh came in to check on me, I asked about his new best friend our HVAC hero. Come to find out, while our AC Slater was being revived, Josh was reviving HVAC’s notebook. I said, “It seems like he was here a long time.” To which Josh said, “Well yeah, it takes a long time to download Microsoft updates, it’s all good though we had a nice talk.” I’m pretty sure the guy fixed our AC in 30 minutes but Josh worked on his computer for at least 90 minutes and Josh loved every minute of it so you can't fault him for his random act of service! Maybe HVAC hero will throw in a free filter next time!

Friday, April 29, 2011

Bust a Myth: Faith cures Infertility

It is National Infertility Awareness Week and has challenge folks to blog about an Infertility myth. I’ve danced around with a few ideas, (Ovulation Vacation, anyone?), but kept coming back to the common misconception that faith cures infertility.

I would say that 85% of people who learn that we have tried for 8 years to have children without success usual take it upon themselves to try and share a tidbit of wisdom about conception. I know it is from the goodness of their hearts and so I’ve learned to smile and nod and go to my happy place. Everyone is trying to relate and be helpful. It is always with the greatest of intentions.

Some go as far to advises, “You must have faith. God can cure anything. Live worthily and pray he will answer.” And He does. We can find accounts in the scriptures of this. We hear testimonies shared at church, stories of families who have miracle pregnancies. But is conception the only way to cure infertility?

I would say no. Living worthily, asking and having faith has not allowed me to conceive but the Lord has provided me with many blessing. I do have faith that our Heavenly Father can heal the body. I am simply saying that I do not believe that is always His answer. Instead I have been blessed by having my spirit healed. I have been given reprieve from sorrow. I have been given strength. I have been guided to know that motherhood is still one of my roles. I have been given patience. I have not been forgotten, Heavenly Father knows me and has a plan just for me. And check me out folks, it’s a special plan.

Want to learn more about infertility? Check out this link: Want to bust a myth?

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Peeps Show Entries!

Entry one: Peep Kabob Entry two: Graham Cracker Campground

The submitter of the following four images wrote: "It all started out so well -- a lovely day at the lake. But somehow, that night, around the campfire at Graham Cracker Campground, it all went terribly wrong. The bunnies toasted marshmallows, the chicks roasted eggs, even the chocolate bunny skewered a chip to see how long it would take to melt!"

"Horrified I woke with a start. Thank goodness it was only a nightmare. Of course it could never really happen. Where would Easter critters ever get such an idea?"

Entry Three: Tweety Peep

Entry Four: Give Peeps a chance!

Yes, I took two late submissions as you can note by the date on the photos. Judge me all you wish, this earns me major brownie points in the Auntie world. Also who doesn't want to see light saber wielding peeps and a peep wedding?

Entry Five: Star Wars

Entry Six: Peep Wedding

Vote for your favorite using the gadget on the top left of the blog. Can't chose just one? Vote for many! Voting closes Wednesday at midnight so I have time to deliver the goods to the winner! Let the voting begin!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Sub-Conscious Melodies

I estimate that once a week I wake up with the lyrics of a song or a melody on broadcast in my thoughts. I’ll sit up in bed humming, sing it to myself in the shower and finally have to say to Josh, “Yellow Submarine.” Then finally I can let the song go. One of my small delights in life is that Josh has this mental hiccup too . His internal DJ broadcasts on a totally different radio station then mine but it is one of the quirks we equally share.

Last Friday I woke to what I thought was a sappy 70s love ballad. At first I couldn’t remember the lyrics, but I totally had the melody on lock. It just kept repeating again and again. On the drive into work my brain assembled the following lyrics, “Why does my heart bleed now in the moOoooOOrning?!? And it trickles through the night!” After ten minutes of googling why does my heart bleed and getting medical journals, I gave up and called Josh. Did you know he is practically the Rain Man when it comes to musical lyrics?

“Josh, I know the lyrics are totally wrong but my song this morning is something I can’t remember and it’s making me crazy. Can you help me?”

“Umm yeah I’ll try.”

“Why does my heart bleed now in the moOoooOOrning?!? And it trickles through the night!”

There is a moment of totally silence and then he starts laughing and laughing. “Are you sure you want to know?”

Here I got a bit nervous, “Yes, it’s making me crazy.”

Then he actually played the song back to me over the phone, that’s right he had it handy.

“Yep! That’s it! Thanks Josh! Wait a minute… that CELINE DION?!?!” Now Josh is laughing even more. To my horror my sub-conscious has plucked a song from my musical nemesis. Celine Dion “Why Does My Heart Beat Now.”

Give me credit though folks, I didn’t know the words in the least bit.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Duh nuh nuh nuh!

Countdowns to challenges always make the think of the Rocky theme song. Super empowering song, sort of makes you feel like you could wrestle a mountain lion and win. You know the training song, with the punching and the running and the epic stair run. That's some quality inspirational filming. Please hum that to yourself while you read the remainder of this post. Duh nuh nuh nuh.... Ladies and Gentlemen, only six and a half days remain until Peeps entries are due! People are bringing the awesome this year. Serious contenders. They fought the battle with creativity and they came out on top! Bring the noise! Remember to get your entries to me by High Noon on the 13th. And thanks for playing, bless all you creative brains who want to play! You make me one happy camper.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011


Peeps are on the shelves, partners! And you know what that means? We’re gonna have ourselves a good old fashioned Peep Off!! Third year running! What’s that? You never did hear of a Peep Off? Well it only the single most intense and heated Easter Candy challenge on this here blog! You do your best to outwit the competition by submitting the best peeping art exhibit possible. The only rule is you must use Peeps as your main art medium.

Send your photos or video to my Peep Off email: by High Noon April 13th. Voting will begin April 15th and end April 19th. The last man standing wins Peeps paraphernalia and glory! Now get yourself out there buckaroo and peep up the good work!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Bob Barker's Biggest Nightmare

So each week at church the women get some time to share a "good news moment" with each other. This week was particularly awesome. One darling sister raised her hand and said, "We are having another set of kittens at our house this week. We are in DESPERATE need of families needing kittens. If you know of anyone who would like a kitten we would love to give them one." People kind of laughed and another sister said, "So everyone take a kitten!" And the the kitten owner said, "No really we have like 30 kittens." To which every one sort of laughed and gasped.

Here is where to me it got awesome. "We don't mean to keep having so many kittens, but the cats bother my mom and so she keeps putting the cats out on the street. And then uh-oh! We have more kittens." So Mom's the one turning them out!

And people were so cute coming to her aid offering up things they knew about how to help her find those who were seeking animals. All I could imagine was the red light cat district. Clearly I was not on my game today. But I wasn't the only one.....

After a few suggestions the woman conducting the meeting in the most loving voice and demeanor said, "Okay, well, I'm not sure that was a "Good News Moment" but thank you for sharing. Does anyone else have something to share?" My ability to silent Muppet laugh came in might handy today! I love these women!!

But seriously, if you want a kitten, they have like 30.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Aliens love Barry White

I sat straight up in bed last night at 4:00 AM with the full knowledge that I may have just dreamt the next Tony winning musical. How does one go about writing and producing a musical? The dream was so vivid I actually ran to the computer in the other room. Some people may have started frantically typing down the script but not me. No I frantically googled it to make sure the musical didn’t exist and that I wasn’t just dreaming something I had overheard. However, in a very reassuring moment I am completely original! Confirmed by Google! (How great would that be on a tshirt? “Confirmed by Google.” Bwah ha ha ha)

Okay if you will all virtually pinky swear not to steal my idea this is part of what went down. I woke up singing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot with the image of aliens who are obsessed with the music that they can pick up from our world via radio waves. All kinds of music: gospel, pop, rap, rock, ska. They can’t get enough of it. So the show is kind of a fun musical review of music history across all genres. Also we get some good laughs with songs taken completely out of context. Their favorite artist? Barry White. Who doesn’t love Barry White?!?

I know exactly how the aliens are supposed to look, what the stage is supposed to look like, and I know some of the songs that are supposed to be included. Not to mention this is a show that could continuously be updated. After a few years, just do a “revival” and update the songs. You know Rhianna is going to have some new rubbish that you could add to the show.

And that is what would make this show awesome. Music is all about how much some songs speak to us and also how much we hate other songs. The aliens unabashed love of all of it, Who Let the Dogs Out included, could lead to a great message of acceptance. Or start riots in the audience when they bust out a little Chumbawumba.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Dream Job 1: Professional Clapper

I have a short list of random dream jobs. Some I know exist and some I'd just like to believe exist. At the top of this list, right under the Mama job, is Professional Clapper. What you might ask is a professional clapper? On a road trip maybe ten years ago my brother the older and I were entertaining ourselves by sharpening up our clapping skills while clapping along to some sweet tunes. Then the though occurred, in some recording studio somewhere a human (or machine, but in my dream a human) was paid to perform studio quality claps! I could own that job!! These hands were made for clapping, and that's just what they'll do! One of these days these hands are going to clap on your album for you!

Wait, now before you roll your eyes, think about the total sweetness of a job like this. You get to meet rock stars. It would probably go like this, "Hi Mr. Grohl, what's that? Why yes, I have been practicing staccato claps. Thank you for noticing! I'd love to be the hand percussion on your next album, have your people call my people. Ciao." You'd have full access to music prior to release date. In a tight pinch you could become "The Clapper" hands. And you'd always have work as long as country stars write drinking anthems, which is pretty much always.

Music execs consider this my professional offer to put these hands to work. Have your people call my people.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Josh and Ellen Adopt

Once upon a time there was a Josh and an Ellen. They fell in love and became Mr & Mrs Haws. They had a long disagreement with infertility and then realized they didn't have to reproduce to have a family. Families come in all shapes and forms. After much prayer, thought and discussion they have begun their adoption adventure.

Want to follow that adventure? Please join us at

Randomness will continue here.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Food for thought

I volunteered this weekend at London's Run. This is a 1/2 mile, 10 k, 2 mile fun run event held every year in Queen Creek in remembrance of a young lady named London to benefit children with cancer. It is a really phenomenal event put on by a fantastic family.

The last three years I have worked in the Runner's Food tent. We sit at the end of the race with bananas, apples, oranges, bagels and power aid for the runners to refuel. It's a cool experience to be one of the first people to interact with a runner following a race. They are grateful, kind and energized by having accomplished their goal. It is hard to explain the spirit and energy they bring to the tent. It is warm and strong.

It was energizing to be with such a large group of people all participating in what we all knew was a good cause. The positive energy was tangible.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Kindling to read by....

I’m raising the flag. You there, do you feel the need for a riot? Maybe a revolution? Too much? Okay how about a peaceful sit in where we quietly read. But we read real books the ones with pages and binding!! Random cause you say? Let me build my case here, let’s start at the very beginning, I hear it’s a very good place to start.

Maybe six months ago, GPJ (my fellow reader) sends me an article that B&N (Barnes & Noble) is investing almost all their money into their own reading machine because they want a piece of the kindle pie and I’m paraphrasing but something like, “they don’t see future money in selling books.” SAY WHAT? Who to the Nazis? I’m sorry B&N you think books are suddenly going to vanish? Oh, no you didn’t. Needless to say we got heated and did was any 20 somethings do, we started a facebook page, that we joined and updated twice and then nothing happened.

“Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing.” Harper Lee

And then for the next three months I went into crazy hyper drive and I got all Fahrenheit 451 and started hoarding books. In my mind we are 20 years from burning books and I need to start memorizing whole sections of the bible. Also I start secretly cursing everyone with Kindles. Josh becomes project number one. If I can convince my techie hubby to delete the Kindle app, I’m on a roll! So first I offer to buy every book he is reading on it. Which I did and subsequently I think he stopped reading on it, but probably really only in my presence. See, I caught him at a B&N fondling their reading machine and I actually hissed like an angry feline. Yes, this is the moment I had a bit of an intervention with myself, self you need to simmer! I could love books and keep a growing library, if the rest of the world wanted to become illiterate and rely on technology for their wisdom it was their grave. Yes I’m that self righteous sometimes. So I shelved it through the holidays, I had Christmas blogging to do.

But I can be passive aggressive no longer! Have you seen this stupid commercial?? Watch….

The obvious statement here is if she’d just bought the blasted BOOK none of that would matter!! Spooky voice: Pay no attention to the printed book behind the curtain. Charles W Eliot says, “Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.”

Yes, I understand it’s still a book if it’s on a Kindle. Contextually it is. But part of what’s great about reading a book is the smell of the pages, the weight of it in your hands and flipping actual pages. The object of binding and paper becomes as integral to the story as the plot. You begin fretting as you see the weight of those pages move from one side to the other as you near the end of a great story, knowing you’ll miss the new friends you’ve made, wondering if in thirty pages it will all work out. You can’t get that on a computer, even if they simulate page flipping.

“A book reads the better which is our own, and has been so long known to us, that we know the topography of its blots and dog’s ears and can trace the dirt in it to having read it at tea with buttered muffins.” Charles Lamb

It’s a new year. I’m rededicating myself to my two fan facebook page and to reminding people what a joy reading an actual physical book is. Yes my purse may be heavier because I’m hauling around an actual copy of Atlas Shrugged and I may get an occasional paper cut, but I will continue to do it. Simply so I can learn the topography of my book and trace the dirt in its pages as I follow the authors adventure.