Saturday, December 25, 2010


I missed blogging yesterday and so I didn't make it this year! Boo hiss! Okay well, I'm going to share this last little fun story for my twelve days of Christmas blogfest.

I was able to talk with Santa this year and have him call my nieces and nephews. You see I'm a reference on their Naughty or Nice sheets. Santa and I conversed and I let him know that all of the kids had been very nice and deserved personal calls from Santa. And that's just what he did over the last few days!

I got to speak with the kids right afterwards. It was fun listening to the nieces & nephews tell me what Santa had promised them as gifts and how lucky they were to get to talk to him. One nephew explained he'd had an especially lucky year, he'd gotten to speak with Santa & Goofy! Each child advised they were going to go to bed early and were not going to peak as Santa had asked them not too!

Want me to add me as a reference? Maybe I can have Santa call you next year!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Snot Nosed the other Reindeer

Snot Nosed the other Reindeer,
Had a very runny nose
And if you ever met him
You'd notice how he blows and blows!
All of the other Reindeer,
Used to laugh and keep their distance,
They never let old Snot Nosed
Carry a box of tissues in peace!
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say, "Snot Nose with your nose so red from tissues,
Wouldn't you like some antihistamines tonight?"
Oh how the Snot Nosed loved him, as he shouted out with glee!
"Santa, you dear old pharmacologist, now I can breath so freely!"

Wintery Movies

I have a few flicks that I like to try and catch every winter, particularly around when Santa comes! In no particular order here are my favs.

1. The Elf - solid Christmas flick with loads of quotable lines! Will Ferrell at his best.
2. Little Women - some will argue this isn't a "holiday flick" buy with all the winter scenes and the romance, I'm a sucker. Let the tears flow.
3. Love Actually - you have to catch the edited tv version or else you get to see some british nudity, amazing flick otherwise! The father son moments are arguably some of the best in film. Also an amazing soundtrack!
4. A Christmas Story - who doesn't right?
5. Home Alone - the scream the guy makes when the tarantula is in his face us awesome! Also very quotable.

Bad Christmas movies for me include

1. Any subsequent Home Alone
2. The Tim Allen becomes Santa movies
3. Jack Frost
4. Any time they take a cheesy Christmas song & make it a movie, like "christmas shoes"

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Anna Mae Claus

With a “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!,”
Anna Mae giggles as the sleigh climbs out of sight.
For you see, tonight is special for Santa’s main squeeze
It’s her one night she behaves however she pleases!

Hours of silence and time to herself,
She banishes every last helpful elf
She cranks up Bob Marley and Stevie Wonder
Then the jewelry cabinet she does plunder.
She piles it on til she’s shiny and bright,
Diamonds galore like a starry starry night!

Once bedazzled and shiny she brings on the polish
Toes and fingers bright pink, all red is abolished!
With a Diet Coke in hand Anna Mae reads her trashy novel,
Imagining Edward love her and watching him grovel.

She answers a few emails with charm and vigor,
“Don’t wait for mistletoe. Make your own magic occur.”
Then climbing to the roof she watches the sunrise,
Eyeing the skies for her man that flies.

Monday, December 20, 2010

We have a full house! And in a full house a computer becomes a hot commodity. So tonight I blog from my iPod! My goodness are these keys tiny! I just have a quick little holiday ditty to share. I am wondering, why is Mrs. Claus so silent? Sister needs to represent! That is my angle if I ever write a children's Christmas book. A Mrs. Claus story... Maybe that will be tomorrows blog, if I score some computer time! I'm grateful to have everyone here, I'll give up all my computer time for them!

Sunday, December 19, 2010


It has been suggested that I discuss Egg Nog and it's different flavors. Here you get to witness one of Ellen's many neurosis on parade. Drinking eggs is so so wrong to me. Yes, I've looked up the recipe and there are some versions of the nog that they cook the eggs. Oh, I'm sure it's very safe and I won't die a slow and torturous death of salmonella. But when faced with nog, my imagination just gets away with me and I am either drinking milk with scrambled egg chunks or I'm contracting noggallolian virus from contaminated eggs which will make my hair and finger nails fall out. I will be hideous! Don't look at me! (Okay I made that second disease up but it sounds bad and you fear it, I know.) Strangely enough, you may drink as much nog in my presence as you'd like. I'm cool with that. It's your funeral, I mean, it's your preference.

However, I am a fan of flavored and souped up drinks. Diet Coke with Lime is off the hook!! Wild Cherry Pepsi is divine. And a soda fountain Vanilla Coke like french kissing an angel. So it's not a flavoring issue.

I did try a sip of homemade nog this year and it was the best I'd had so far. It was really frothy which was just down right fishy to me. Now I'm drinking meringue?

Can you see? I just can't get over it, I'm in my head too much. Eggs we eat, not drink.

Fish are friends, not food.

Saturday, December 18, 2010


I have graduated from college! Go me! I finally have my bachelors degree, which according to the president of my college makes me part of a gang of only 2% of educated smarties in AZ. In our gang in order to be jumped in, you have to allow yourself to be beat up by snooty educators for 4 years. If you survive, you get a certificate and a handshake. Welcome to the gang!

I sat by my friend Kurt at the graduation. NAU has it all figured out to make the program go as fast as possible. Two people announcing the names so you move double speed. When it was our turn, I went to the left and shook hands, Kurt went to the right. When we got back to our seats we compared stories. The right was more interesting. I had a very manly man announce my name, a little like being announced for the world series, then three random men shook my hand, two photos and I wandered back to my seat. Kurt basically had the same except he got to shake hands with the self imposed queen of education. She offered her hand like the queen does, palm down and fingers first. He said it took a lot of self restraint not to kiss her hand and bow a little. And that is how you know you've won the education battle!

Overall, it was a solid event. It snowed a little and I'm done! Go me!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Cheat to Win

We’ve all seen those stickery appliqué thingies that share wisdom in people’s houses. Some of them are spiritual and share scriptures, others are fun or wise. You have seen them, “Carry on, Move around” or the popular “Home, it’s where families are something or another.” I clearly don’t read them.

My dream would be to see people come up with a family motto, you know something that actually matters to them not just what the Relief Society craft is that month. This motto is something the whole fam must think about and agree on. Family consensus must occur in the establishing of the motto. Said family motto then must be stickery appliquéd to the entry way. Because let's be honest, sometime you can judge a book by it's motto. I mean you wouldn't want to mess with the house that votes on the motto, "Death to Mr. Rogers." But your undiscovered best friend could live in the house, "Always eat brownies." In my mom’s house it would have read “It’s not the way you cut it, it’s the way you sew it up.” Our family motto, always has been, always will be. Represent! Last Christmas my friend’s family voted on “Cheat to Win.” Clearly you don’t compete against that crew.

Our motto is still developing and taking shape but clearly is going to be some form of the following: “ENGAGE!” - Mrs. Incredible, “Pull the Lever!” – Yzma from Emperor’s New Groove, “Make it so.” - Captain Picard or the four notes you’d hear before the beginning of the race when playing ExciteBike on Nintendo. It’s all about a call to action in our house!

Josh: “Are you ready?”

Me: “I’m ready.”

Josh: “Make it so.” Or really my favorite…. “bong, bong, bong, DING!”

Also acceptable is the Iron Will whistle.

In the spirit of reviving and making appliqués more interesting, what would your family motto be?

Thursday, December 16, 2010

She Santa

About 5 years ago, my mother took a turn dressing up as Santa Claus for a Relief Society activity. It had been a lot of fun entertaining and bringing holiday cheer to the crowd. On one pass from the gym to the kitchen, Mom came face to face with a 7 year old girl. Here is the predicament, "Do you try and fake a man voice?" or be mute Santa? Let's just say it was a brief encounter with the help of a elf shuttling the 7 year old along her way. Mom says she did a lot of nodding and oohs and ahhs. Mom worries she caused severe counseling needs. Some little girl wrote her Christmas essays on "Christmas Conspiracy: Santa is a woman?"

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Watch out, they spit.

Tonight you see art entries by Mr. & Mrs. Santa Haws. I know our art work is astonishing, but you should consider we are in late 20s, early 30s. We have mastered Crayola. I have created "Santa's Bora Bora Beach House." The man deserves a quality vacation! Also if I won a bajillion dollars today, I'd go straight to Bora Bora!
Mr. Haws has completed an art work entitled, "He Has Come." Way to get all religious on me Josh and make me look bad. Gosh! Actually, this is why I love you. Thanks for the good reminder about what this is all about. Also, very Picasso-esque stars and awesome camels!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Newer traditions

I realized this year as I was making my list and checking it twice that Josh and I have developed some of our own holiday traditions. When did that happen? Somewhere in the eight years of marriage, poof! I thought I’d make myself a little catalog of how they developed so that when the kids ask me, “Why do we eat these weird sandwiches and Auntie doesn’t?” I’ll have an answer.

I’m a terrible bread maker. The science behind the magical potion called yeast seems to fail me. Even when using one of those “No Fail, even your dog could make these rolls” recipes I can’t figure out. I can get the dough to rise the first time and then doom. Predictible fail. However, the stars seem to always align when I make Hawaiian bread. And so it became our tradition that I would make Hawaiian bread on Christmas. It may have started as a necessity tradition but we’ve grown to love it. Hawaiian bread has the best aroma ever, and the taste has just a hint of pineapple. Mmmm good!

Another tradition is that we have ham for Christmas dinner, which is pretty standard; however I found this crazy ham sandwich leftover recipe last year. Mostly I hunted it down out of frustration. We had lots of ham left over and I was bored with it. Three additional uses is usually my leftover limits, and last year I still had a huge ham stack! So I turned to my favorite recipe website and found this gem. It is good, people. Grilled Ham & Pineapple Sandwiches. They are dope! Sour dough bread, smear on some cream cheese, cooked ham, pineapple slice, smoosh it all in your sandwich and throw it in a fry pan until everything is nice and warm. Yes, you can’t eat it every day or your heart would stop, but it is pretty amazing stuff. I imagine it would be righteous on a Panini press. Hint, hint Santa.

Right now you are thinking, “Are all of their traditions about food??” No! Okay yeah, most of them. We like food. Non food traditions include a Homer Simpson Santa that has to be on display somewhere in the house. He seems to not get packed up every year. So Homer Santa is always watching, all year long. A set of reindeer dessert dishes that comes out every year, each has its own reindeer in full character. My favorite is Vixen. The additional of a new “couple” to the Christmas ornament collection. Last year it was a really beautiful set of Santa Mickey & Minnie. I think it will be really fun when we have 50+ couple ornaments for every Christmas we’ve spent together. Won’t that be a beautiful tree?

And so begins the 12 days of Christmas blogging. Have a topic you want to hear me ramble on about? Leave a comment because as wise Homer Santa says, "Seasons Greet-er-ings!"

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Funky Produce

We were snuggled up reading books last week and Josh suddenly says, "When I was little I used to think people were saying "Old Tomato" when they were saying the word ultimatum. I'd think why would you be giving someone an old tomato? Why does that make them want to make the decision? I'd hear adults and think oh man it's getting bad he just gave him an old tomato! It made a lot more sense when I got older."

Then he went right back to reading as I erupted into giggles. I can imagine this little farm boy and how awful he would have thought it would be to have someone give you an old tomato. Really, what's worse than an old tomato in the produce world?

::::Side Note::::: Last year I did the 12 Days of Christmas Blogging, I would like to make it a tradition! If you have any suggestions of topics, throw them at me in the comments. Happy Christmas!