Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Kick Punch Kick!

Today my coworker was doing some proactive stretching, doing some dramatic kick, punch, kicking moves. And I caught myself rapping "kick, punch, kick!" And suddenly it was major flash back time!!! This lovely face flashed before my eyes....

Do any of you know who he is?? Only the greatest Playstation game of all time!! It's PaRappa the Rappa!! Somebody say Ho!!

My sister had a Playstation the year I was a freshman in college. I would drive to her home and we would spend the weekend (when we weren't busy being karaoke rockstars) playing PaRappa the Rappa. We slayed at this game!!!! It was essentially the base theory for Dance Dance Revolution. You had to push the game buttons in rhythm with the raps that PaRappa was learning on his journey to becoming a hero. Yes, all you do for 12 levels is push buttons in rhythm to music. Get what, get back. It's awesome----ish!! I have fond memories of playing and singing all the words to "I gotta believe!" The game was a lot more challenging if you tried to sing while pushing the buttons.

Seriously ya'll, check out this wicked awesome website that shows how classy this game was...if you pick videos you can see game play. Master Chief has nothing on PaRappa! He can't even carry a tune, that's why he has all this pent up shooting alien aggression. PaRappa what's he got? "I gotta be me!"

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Adult Binkies

Brought to you straight from the pages of my new best selling motivational pamphlet, "Even You Can Enjoy Strangers" I give you an excerpt about rants.

Everyone likes to believe they are an expert at something. This leads some of us to blog and some of us to randomly rant about topics in inappropriate situations. As an observer, some times fighting crazy with crazy is the best tactic to quickly diffuse the situation. For those times when you are stuck listen to someone incessantly argue the values of feeding a pet only homemade meals or how the downfall of society is the music industry this is my new favorite trick. When all else fails and you can't get the ranting to stop, just insert the Adult Binky or Adult Nuck-Nuck. This trick is applied by picking an equally absurd topic and talking as passionately as they are about the absurdity.

This weekend I chose to explain my unfounded dislike of Canada. I'm telling you that people get outraged about this. "Why would you hate Canada? They are so nice. What have they ever done to us? They have free health care! " I'll admit I think the plan worked so well because I had a wing man. She jumped right in suggesting we dig a moat and fill it with crocodiles to keep the Canadians from crossing the border. Maybe even flamethrowers, granted border towns would smell like bacon but we'd be free from intruders. We just kept going and going until...

The original crazy closed his honker and we were able to enjoy a nice dinner. Yes, some call this avoidance. I call it Adult Binky.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Domesticated Lions

I read Wicked and Son of a Witch over the summer. Son of a Witch is better.

In both books Animals can speak. They are intelligent beings and until the wizard goes all evil they live as ordinary "people" in the land of Oz. By the second book things are not so hot for the Animals. There is a particular scene where a Lion is being kept as a family pet. The way it is described in the book it would be like keeping your neighbor Anna chained up in the backyard as a pet because she has curly hair. The Lion is submitting to it because he is fed regularly and basically cared for. When the boy Liir stares at him in disbelief, the Lion becomes angry and growls something to the effect of, "Just because I'm domesticated, doesn't mean I'm not hungry!!!" It's so frightening that Liir and you as the reader turn and flee figuring that if you don't you are the Lion's next meal.

I'm feeling a bit like that this last week. I know I've chosen my life and that I ultimately have the control. I could make things happen and I do, I am. It's the patience I lack and I sure am hungry! I guess I'm just frustrated craving creme brulee and getting oreos. Not that oreos are bad, they just aren't what I wished for.

So I'm just putting it out there to the universe I'd like a serving of creamy yet crunchy creme brulee please! And if it could be non-fat that would be a major bonus!