Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Adult Binkies

Brought to you straight from the pages of my new best selling motivational pamphlet, "Even You Can Enjoy Strangers" I give you an excerpt about rants.

Everyone likes to believe they are an expert at something. This leads some of us to blog and some of us to randomly rant about topics in inappropriate situations. As an observer, some times fighting crazy with crazy is the best tactic to quickly diffuse the situation. For those times when you are stuck listen to someone incessantly argue the values of feeding a pet only homemade meals or how the downfall of society is the music industry this is my new favorite trick. When all else fails and you can't get the ranting to stop, just insert the Adult Binky or Adult Nuck-Nuck. This trick is applied by picking an equally absurd topic and talking as passionately as they are about the absurdity.

This weekend I chose to explain my unfounded dislike of Canada. I'm telling you that people get outraged about this. "Why would you hate Canada? They are so nice. What have they ever done to us? They have free health care! " I'll admit I think the plan worked so well because I had a wing man. She jumped right in suggesting we dig a moat and fill it with crocodiles to keep the Canadians from crossing the border. Maybe even flamethrowers, granted border towns would smell like bacon but we'd be free from intruders. We just kept going and going until...

The original crazy closed his honker and we were able to enjoy a nice dinner. Yes, some call this avoidance. I call it Adult Binky.

4 comments:

camilla said...

You are hilarious! Nuck Nuck made me laught out loud!

The Wixom Zoo said...

You're awesome. Thanks for the laugh this morning. :)

Anonymous said...

Wow, it proves there is method to the madness!

Wonders said...

I love you Ellen. I honestly love you.