Thursday, January 28, 2010

The King

Aside from the fact the the Burger King guy maybe the single most frightening image on TV right now, he also thinks he's a sneaky pirate. But no sir!! I have your number hamburger man! EXPOSE!! ha ha hu hu he! (that's my french laugh) That's right I've picked up on your little evil plan and I'm totally calling you out old school playground style. So gather round, are you ready??

Burger King is trying to get us all to switch to onion rings. That's right!! I said it!!

Okay here's how the theory hatched: I haven't ordered french fries from BK in maybe 8 months that there has not been a succulent perfect tasty onion ring in my fries to entice me to the oniony dark side of adulthood. Doesn't it seem like once you like onions your old? Suddenly your taste buds have grown up? It's the final threshold. So tonight, we are munching away, (don't judge me people cause I eat fast food) and hark! there it awaits. One tasty golden ring. And then I look and Josh has one too! Then I realized, I was expecting one delicious ring. Frankly because they are always stinking there. Here is where I closed the conspiracy gap...those BK TV creepers are purposely providing one delicious onion ring in each box slowly making us all addicted. "They put an addictive chemical in it that make you crave for it nightly!!"

The benefits of switching the populations to rings:

  1. I bet they are cheaper to produce. It's not like there is a whole state called the Onion State. Idaho, you've pushed their hand.
  2. It takes fewer rings than fries to fill up the same box.
  3. Lastly, Ogres are like onions.

Listen here Mr. Burger King. You are making a play for my last childhood strong hold, my dislike of onions. And though I know it was probably time for me to grow up, it is the sneakiness that has betrayed our relationship and the Hamburglar and I won't stand for it. Consider yourself unfriended.

2 comments:

The Wixom Zoo said...

Hahaha!!! I love onion rings too. I guess I'm old now...

Jen Johnson said...

HA! Love the 'french laugh. I must agree he is quite creepy- but i guess that's all a part of the marketing scheme!