Domesticated Lions

I read Wicked and Son of a Witch over the summer. Son of a Witch is better.

In both books Animals can speak. They are intelligent beings and until the wizard goes all evil they live as ordinary "people" in the land of Oz. By the second book things are not so hot for the Animals. There is a particular scene where a Lion is being kept as a family pet. The way it is described in the book it would be like keeping your neighbor Anna chained up in the backyard as a pet because she has curly hair. The Lion is submitting to it because he is fed regularly and basically cared for. When the boy Liir stares at him in disbelief, the Lion becomes angry and growls something to the effect of, "Just because I'm domesticated, doesn't mean I'm not hungry!!!" It's so frightening that Liir and you as the reader turn and flee figuring that if you don't you are the Lion's next meal.

I'm feeling a bit like that this last week. I know I've chosen my life and that I ultimately have the control. I could make things happen and I do, I am. It's the patience I lack and I sure am hungry! I guess I'm just frustrated craving creme brulee and getting oreos. Not that oreos are bad, they just aren't what I wished for.

So I'm just putting it out there to the universe I'd like a serving of creamy yet crunchy creme brulee please! And if it could be non-fat that would be a major bonus!

The King

Aside from the fact the the Burger King guy maybe the single most frightening image on TV right now, he also thinks he's a sneaky pirate. But no sir!! I have your number hamburger man! EXPOSE!! ha ha hu hu he! (that's my french laugh) That's right I've picked up on your little evil plan and I'm totally calling you out old school playground style. So gather round, are you ready??

Burger King is trying to get us all to switch to onion rings. That's right!! I said it!!

Okay here's how the theory hatched: I haven't ordered french fries from BK in maybe 8 months that there has not been a succulent perfect tasty onion ring in my fries to entice me to the oniony dark side of adulthood. Doesn't it seem like once you like onions your old? Suddenly your taste buds have grown up? It's the final threshold. So tonight, we are munching away, (don't judge me people cause I eat fast food) and hark! there it awaits. One tasty golden ring. And then I look and Josh has one too! Then I realized, I was expecting one delicious ring. Frankly because they are always stinking there. Here is where I closed the conspiracy gap...those BK TV creepers are purposely providing one delicious onion ring in each box slowly making us all addicted. "They put an addictive chemical in it that make you crave for it nightly!!"

The benefits of switching the populations to rings:

1. I bet they are cheaper to produce. It's not like there is a whole state called the Onion State. Idaho, you've pushed their hand.
2. It takes fewer rings than fries to fill up the same box.
3. Lastly, Ogres are like onions.

Listen here Mr. Burger King. You are making a play for my last childhood strong hold, my dislike of onions. And though I know it was probably time for me to grow up, it is the sneakiness that has betrayed our relationship and the Hamburglar and I won't stand for it. Consider yourself unfriended.

Mario & Luigi

Once upon a time there was our favorite dog named Mario. He looks a little three legged in this picture but he's not. He's a handsome regal beast, who let's Josh be the Alpha and Ellen be the love of his life. He's a perfect fit! But Mario needed a buddy, his life just didn't seem complete....


And so Josh announces one Sunday afternoon, "I'm going to find Mario a friend." And by Monday night we had another dog!! Josh was across town getting a soda at the AMPM gas station and there was a little puppy. He called to it and it came to him. After a thorough check from the vet and a promise he carried no disease that would hurt our Mario, we welcomed a little puppy!! Then began the name game....this was hard! We debated over Sero (evening in Italian..AMPM reference, my sister she's cool), Ryu (Nintendo street fighter character, loved it because he was a street dog) and Luigi (obvious reasons) were discussed and fretted over. After watching the dogs play and snuggle for a few days we settled on Luigi.

He has a white chest like Mario and a bit of white coloring on his toes. He has this amazing face that we finally got a really great picture of. He seems to be the wise old man of the two. He plays with energy but he is always the first to settle down. He not the cuddle bug Mario is. He's plenty happy to get his scratch, some love and then go lay on his bed to nap. All the puppies independent throw your paws up at me!! Mario loves it because then he can come plot down in my lap and snore for two hours.

We've got ourselves a gruesome twosome! Welcome home Luigi!! Now that I've re-read this it feels very Christmas family flyer but whatever.... pin a rose on your nose. Merry freaking Christmas.

New Puppy

Help name me! My brother puppy is named Mario, so my parents are thinking Nintendo or Italian.

Favorite phrases in the last week

1. "Eventually they'll be a herd immunity and people won't get so sick." - Ok!!! Is Herd Immunity not the greatest new band name?? I was mega excited about it, ran home and immediately changed our rock band name.
2. "I'm done talking to womens. They don't know as well as mens." - Yeah, I'd been trying to help this guy for half of the day with something and he now suddenly thinks "mens" are going to make it betters? Eat rocks and die.
3. "Fruitcup." This is Josh's new pet name for everyone. How you doing, fruitcup? Take that fruitcup. I own you fruitcup!! It makes me laugh every time.
4. "It wasn't really all that bad." Josh said this as we drove home tonight from a young women's sports event. 136 girls playing volleyball all at once. I coordinate it all and I bullied Josh into refereeing one of the courts for me. I thought it was fun but exhausting, he thought it wasn't really all that bad.
5. "Bret Michaels?? He's so irrelevant!" Our book club got a bit distracted and started talking about reality TV. One of our members doesn't have cable and they were filling her in on dating TV showing on MTV. This is my favorite response ever!
6. We just went outside to watch it rain and I was shivering away. My sweet husband looks at me and exclaims"Are you cold? I will hug you!" and then he mauled me! I love him!

Bwugg!!!

"Bwugg!!!"

Doesn't it look like that's what the lady in the background is saying? Why does she look so surprised? And you know she made an audible noise. "Oi!" "Argh!" "Bwoink!" This is how I would be caught too, making a weird face and in my grey shirt and black pants. CURSES! This is why I am going to try to dress fiercer in 2010. I do like her shoes better than Gwen's though!

Keep being AWESOME!

Personal disclaimer: I love me some Vegan food. I think if you want to live the Vegan life style more power to you. I just had to share. The T-Rex image on this just made me cackle. Look at that wacky tongue. Roar!!