Favorite Christmas Story

Sunday at church for Young Women's we are teaching our Christmas lesson. The presidency had a really fun idea that each leader bring their favorite Christmas story and read it to the girls. Here is where my predicament begins.

I don't have a very large collection, or really no collection, or Christmas stories. I didn't realize what a Grinch I was. I come from good stock when it comes to these types of collections. My mom probably has 100 Christmas books. It is fun to visit her house and read them. Books about Santa, books about Jesus. It is a great collection. I just haven't caught the bug yet....

But then lightening struck this morning. I couldn't stop singing one of Michael McLean's Forgotten Carols. I realized I do have lots of Christmas stories, they are just all musical! I am looking forward to playing "Dream [Handel]" for the girls on Sunday. It is one of my favorite Christmas stories.

Best gifts?

I quite often get sucked in by websites promising me the best or newest great gift to give. This year I was reviewing the top 100 best gifts as predicted by Amazon. Most of the things on the list were predictable, gadgets, perfume, fruit baskets. And then I found their 4 best books to give section. I was getting all excited thinking I'd found myself a little reading list of the books published this year that I had missed. Are you ready for the top 4 books of 2011?!?

1. Extended version of "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest"
2. Harry Potter book 6
3. Lord of the Rings series
4. The Chronicles of Narnia series

Yeah, not a single one written this year. Best buys of 2011? Maybe it should have said most purchased books of 2011. If that is so, I'm glad to see these classics living on, but slightly disappointed that according to Amazon nothing good has been printed or written since Harry P. I guess I can take comfort that Twilight is not on the list. Yes, I read them but they in no way rank with C.S. Lewis.

So the list was a swing & a miss! Have you read any great books this year?

The best way to spread Christmas cheer...

Merry 12 Days of Christmas blogging! This is my third year running on blogging about Christmas for all 12 Days. It may be a little more tricky this year, newborn and all, but yes, it shall be conquered!

Buddy the Elf is my favorite elf. He says that "the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear." In attempts to get our four month old son in the holiday spirit I've been busting out some awesome Christmas songs. I'm surprised at how large my holiday repertoire is! I even have a few Hanukkah songs up my sleeve! But as I wound down thinking the insanity was almost over, I was suddenly transported back to third grade and remembered some Christmas songs that frankly I can't believe I ever forgot.

That's right. I could suddenly remember the words to "Santa's using Zebras now." A classic little diddy about how"Donner, Blitzen all the reindeer put him on the spot! They were use to ice and cold but Africa was hot!" So, of course Santa uses zebras. It's a very spicy number.

But my favorite that has returned from the recesses of my memory is "Santa Your Too Fat." It goes a little something like this,

"I heard a reindeer hoof,
then Santa dressed in red,
Came crashing through the roof,
And landed on my bed.
I thought it was a dream,
but quickly did I wake,
as soon as I heard Santa scream,
"I want a piece of cake!"

OOOOOOOoooooh! Santa Claus, Santa Claus, you are much to fat!
I was sleeping peacefully but now my bed is flat!
OOOOOOOOoooooh! Santa Claus, Santa Claus how much do you weigh?
I'm glad I'm not a reindeer that has to pull your sleigh."

Unfortunately I don't remember the second verse because I always chose to take the descant "Ho! Ho! Ho!" However, I know that the last line we used to all yell really loud, "SANTA YOUR TOO FAT!"

Not the nicest Christmas song ever, but you know the boy is going to love it in a few years. Chunky Santa forever! Viva los chunk!

Pop Up Video!

Oh yeah boy! It's back!! Pop Up Video. And I will tell you straight up that I am addicted. I mean who doesn't want to learn needless information while watching music videos? Because you never know when you might get to audition to be a Music Video Jeopardy Contestant.

I'll take celebrity arguments for $4000, Alex.

Gwen Stefani wrote Hollaback Girl in response to what celebrities snide public remarks?

Ding, ding, ding! Who is Courtney Love?

Oh yeah!! I just banked $4000. That is B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Also how great would it be if you could turn the Pop Up Video bubbles on in real life? Boring church meetings, waits at the doctor's office. Pop! "This gentleman once trained as a cage fighter." or "This office receives 25 magazines a month. Only 12 make it to the waiting room, the remaining go home with Nurse Smith." or "Newlywed! Married last weekend!" Intriguing right? It could be fun! I would just want the option to turn it off, perma-Pop could become overwhelming almost like have 4 harajuku girls that follow you around all the time. That could make you B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Toys vs. Treasures

We have a box that comes out every time we have kids in the house and written on the side of the box in large letters is the word "TOYS." This weekend we had the most excellent privilege of having my sister, nephew and niece visit. As my niece dug through the box she busily renamed all the stuffed animals, one penguin will forever be Sunset now, and quickly she separated the toys into what interested her and what didn't. And then she found it and you could almost see the world go into slow motion for a minute.

In the toy box is a Cinderella music box. When you open it you can fold out two mirrors and put Cinderella and her prince on the dance floor, wind the music and then as it plays "So This Is Love" they dance. I helped her set it up and for 20 seconds she was completely mesmerized. Then she looked at me and said, "That's it?" Ha ha, yes that's it.

My sister got laughing and explained that yes, this is how it works something is special but only for about 20 seconds. And so my 5 year old niece carried it back to the box, set it to the side and continued to play with other toys. However as bedtime approached I was presented with the music box.

"Aunt Ellen?"
"Yes?"
"Aunt Ellen, this is not a toy. This is a treasure. Sometimes when people treasure things they give them to younger people that they love. If you feel that you might love me and be ready to give this to me, I could be happy."
"Well okay. Let me think about it."
"Okay, for now I'll just take it to my room so I can have it near."

She then delicately carried it down the hall to her room. We just melted into giggles. How smart is she? An brilliant noggin I tell you. I mean really how do you say no to that? And so my sister advised that if I was asked again and wasn't ready to part with my "treasure" all I had to do was say something very Disney like, "On your 16th birthday at the stroke of midnight if I don't have any daughters, it is all yours."

Ah yes, now I see where the brilliant noggin comes from.

Man Swing

Did you know we've become parents? For part of our journey we spent several weeks in the hospital. One particularly sleepy night Josh was sitting in the wooden rocker and he got expounding on the great wonder that is the process of rocking. Let me remind you, it came out pretty fast and flowing, he was tired and the thoughts were just bubbling out.

"I love to rock. It is so soothing. You know what is the only bad thing about this rocker? It is man propelled. I have to push. Sometimes you can push really hard and get several rocks out of one push, but then, it stops! I always seems to need three more rocks before I'm asleep and so the process starts all over, I wake up, push almost fall asleep then the momentum stops." Here he sighed...

"But man do I love to rock. You know what would be a great invention? If they could figure out how to make man sized swings like they have for babies. I would totally buy one and just swing and swing and swing. Do you know how relaxing that would be? Very. It clearly calms down a crying baby. Imagine what it would do to a grown man. Talk about stress relief. That right there is a million dollar idea, man swing."

Then there were a few minutes of silent rocking and then just for good effect he said one more time...

"Man I love to rock."

Millions of Peaches, Peaches for me!

Some bionic change has occurred in me in which I crave nutrients! I seem to desire to eat nothing but fruit and vegetables. My body may possibly be gearing up for the great fruit and vegetables war of 2011 in which mankind devours as many fruits and vegetables as possible in one day. Poor defenseless vegetables. Unguarded low hanging fruit, you are so easily picked off! How will you fight back? You can't! All you can do is make us healthy and for that we love you!

In this pursuit for total food group annihilation Josh and I made a groceries run last night. I needed broccoli salad (that is all I wanted for dinner). As we shopped the sweet fragrance of peaches called to me! Being ever the diplomat I made Josh buy his own morsels, it is every man for himself in this devouring. No sharing. And so in a fair turn of diplomacy, he taunted me on the drive home by deliciously eating said fragrant fruit. It smelled outrageously good and as he reenacted the "Mmmm...oooh, this is delicious" seen from What About Bob I couldn't help but laugh. Eventually he offered me a bite. Glorious!

As he quickly finished the first peach he dug around in the bag for the next. Suddenly he stopped and said, "Uhhh, my stomach hurts!"

I joking replied, "Probably because you ate the produce sticker and it is dicing up your intestines."

All color then dropped from Josh's face and he said, "There was a sticker?"

Guess the fruit can fight back.