Pajama Pants & Pinatas

Josh's family always has a Christmas pinata. It is always created by a family member and usually decorated festively. The extended family gets together on Christmas Eve and they bust it to shreds!! The tradition is two hits, starting with the youngest. My one experience with the Haws pinata is a bit different.

The pinata I experienced was similar in size and shape to a basketball. It dangled from the garage door track arm. It was covered in layers and layers of duct tape, because the older cousins were tired of not getting a swing at it. See Josh has like 100 first cousins, that's not a lie. So usually the kids his age don't get a chance to hit it. But not the year I was there, this industrial strength 75 proof basketball pinata made it all the way to Josh's brother who was 25 at the time. It probably survived 50 direct blows! Massively impressive!!

My family has adopted this pinata massacre tradition and I admit, it's a really good time.

At my house, we always get to open one present on Christmas Eve and it's always a pair of pajamas. My mom is the best at finding crazy pajamas. They either have a theme or they match or they have crazy socks with them. She is the Stacy London of Pajama Wear. Somewhere along the way as children we started this game of racing to see who could run to their room, change into their pajamas and run back to the tree first. The winner gets to do their little victory dance for everyone! It's always a big debate about who makes it first. This tradition lingers no matter what age we are. It's never a fair race, some of us have kids to help change and some of us move slower than others, but without fail the last set of jammies gets opened there is a moment of silence and then the sprint begins. Until one year.....

The last set of pajamas gets opened....there is the moment of anticipation. It tingles in the air a little, everyone is waiting for someone to make the first move. A boy did he!! Brother-in-law jumped to his feet and dropped his draws right in the middle of the family room! And man did we scurry!! And of course he won! He saved valuable time not running to his room and back. And when the shock wore off I was envious, twenty some odd years of racing and I'd never ever ever thought of that! Never thought how to skim minutes of my change time, uhhh! He's a true competitor and for that you can't fault him. All you can do is ask yourself, think he'd run if did the same next year??

Tinsel Man

“Toto, I’m just not feeling holiday cheer.” Dorothy moped around in her pjs of candy canes and reindeer. “Honestly what in the world is a perfectly cute girl to do? I’m feeling oh so stinking holiday blue.”

And Toto being the love of her life, wanted to do his best to stop her strife. He cuddled, he kissed, he nuzzled her hair, but the blues were too much for one cairn terrier. And so he did what any good dog would do, Toto howled for her friends then chewed on her shoe.

Smarty scarecrow arrived and did his golly-gee best, but Dorothy would not give the sniffling a rest. A cheery lion arrived with not an ounce of fear, but the girl just sat with one giant tear. And who tried next to make the blubbering stop? Tinsel Man sparkling from foot to funnel top! Yes the Tin Man, 11 months of the year. But in December he was Tinsel from toes to ears.

He sparkled, he shimmered, he did the Tinsel Man dance. Every ounce was tinsel, even his pants. He sang loud of Christmas all the time blinging, and soon Dorothy was laughing and singing. He rustled and waved as he skipped out of sight, “Merry Christmas ya’ll and a Tinsel Goodnight!!”

12 Days of Blogging

All right, so I issued a challenge on a whim and then was taken up on it! Most people think my challenges are too crazy and just say, "You crazy, Blitzen!" And then I don't have to fulfill said Challenge. This has saved me more than once. This is why I surround myself with reasonable people, they monitor me. Keep my impulses in check.

But not this time.... Tomorrow starts the 12 days of Christmas, This friend, I'll call her Cheerful, blogged about hitting a writers block and so then came the challenge. We'll blog about 12 random things for 12 days straight.

So tomorrow it begins, we aren't putting any rules on this, just that we both have to write something every day on the agreed topic. Have any suggestions for topics? Leave me a comment. We probably won't write on gun control, child slavery or the cost of shoes (what are your overheads?) because we'll it's Christmas folks and Buddy the Elf taught me that the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.

As a further disclaimer before this all starts I feel that I should warn you. School is out for winter break and I feel liberated to be me again. So the crazy is in full swing, you may suggest Yule Logs expecting to get a nice little Christmas story from me but maybe I'll post a recipe or a blog about Ren & Stimpy and a fake commercial they had on their show called Log! I can still sing the whole song! "It's Log, It's Log! It's big it's heavy it's wood. It's Log! It's Log! It's better than bad, it's good! Everyone wants a log, come on and get a log. Your gonna get a log! Everyone wants a log! From Mayco."

So yeah...you've been warned. Type at ya tomorrow!

Wuggies!

I was mocked a bit for my snuggies obsession of earlier this year. But just so you cool cats know, all the really cool kids know that awesomeness that is snuggy.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIGmvB-VUl0


Or as I prefer to call it, the wuggie!! That's right, no more mocking! Weezer even loves them! And we all know Weezer = Cool.

My wuggie is on back order right now but I promise you all some very high fashion America's Next Top Model shots of me rocking my wuggie when it arrives!

Mr. Grumpy Gills

I play a little game when I walk to the cafeteria here at work. I say Hi to everyone, whether I know them or not. Then for fun I give myself points for every response I get. Quarter of a point for a nod. Full point for a verbal response. Triple points if I scare them, not that I try to scare people just that some people are just jumpy. NO ONE, that's right not a one said hi back to me today and today was a high traffic day, I passed like 12 people. Why? I don't smell. I'm dressed nice today, combed my hair. The weather is perfect so we can't blame it on it being too hot. My work has the case of the grumpies!

And then I talked to Josh, and so does Josh! WHAT? Anyone who know Josh knows he would be the most boring rollercoaster ride ever, more like a train ride perfectly pleasant, level and steady. He is the most mellow, enjoyable, even-tempered person and he's grumpy too!

Chin up buckaroos! How come everyone is so grumpy right now, eh? Do we need to hug it out people? Time out for Coca-Cola? I present you with this joke in my attempt to help the grumpies of the world shake it off. Maybe we just need a laugh.

Yesterday, I had a flat tire on the interstate.

I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car & opened the trunk.

Taking out two cardboard men, I unfolded them & stood them at the rear of my car, facing the oncoming traffic. They look so lifelike you wouldn't believe it. They are in trench coats, exposing naked bodies to the approaching drivers.

Cars started slowing to see my cardboard men, making it safer for me to work at the side of the road.

Of course traffic started backing up. Everybody was tooting their horns, & waving like crazy, so it wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up behind and walked towards me I could tell he was not a happy camper!

"What's going on here?" he asked.

"My car has a flat tire," I said calmly.

"Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing
here by the road?"

I couldn't believe he didn't know. So I told him.

"Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!"

Jingle Jungle

How do you birds do it? How do you become accessorizing masters? We could literally be in the same outfit, black shirt and jeans and you look all hip and cool and I look all drabby and full of teenage angst! Teach me Obi won!

I've secretly picked out my accessories champion and I'm trying to master her great and powerful style. She is truly a superior accessorizer. An icon of all things that clasp - bracelets, necklaces, shoes, earrings. It's mega. She's got the ability to make a statement with a piece of flair. She's my bling idol.

Oh and my favorite thing about her? She never, no never, jangles. You know what I'm talking about. I swear she does the shake test before she leaves the house and if it rattles it comes off. You can admire her visually without having to hear it. No clankity clank, tinkle tink, bang whomp kapow! And I think that's half of her magical power, she's silent like a stephanie meyer's vampire and it draws you in. You feel the need to come closer because you have to see if she's wearing something you can't hear from three offices away that she has a bracelet on. The song isn't Silence is the sound of your bracelets clinking. No the song is Silence is Golden.

I'm onto your jewlery mantra, good accessory lady. Give me like maybe another 5 years in your presence and maybe I'll understand the art of necklaces and earrings that "go together" not match.

Me & the Piemaker!

Okay my blogging has gotten majorly inconsistent, but so has my life. And so I've become reflective on the idea of what I would do if I could just magically change the world to make the day to day more dynamic/entertaining/colorful? How would I technicolor dream coat my life?

Pushing Daisies!!! Tell me you people watched that show!! I started a protest the day they cancelled this show, I mailed mood enhancing pies, a pop-up book that guided them back to my tv set, but to no avail. It was just gone from my life. Sorrow.

Hmm where to start. Okay first, I'd love to have random singing, musical moments in my life. Like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfQ488hHKpY

Truthfully I do this probably on a daily basis in my head and though an actual live action moment might not be 100% possible, I'd love the opportunity to be like "DJ, hit it!" and just sum up a conversation or a moment with a little tune or number. Sometimes words just miss the mark.

Second, set design. Life would be better if color, print, texture existed everywhere we were. You catch a little bit of it in the video clip above, but if you are really interested check out this website, there are some good photos of it. I just think sometimes life is boring because of the lack of inspiration in paint color and carpeting.

http://www.denofgeek.com/television/296961/design_appreciation_the_sets_of_pushing_daisies.html

I'm talking variety people! Patterns, plaids, bold colors! So help me if I go into one more tan on tan house that the wife calls Buttercream on Mocha!!

Third, I'd take the wardrobe in a heart beat! And if I could convince Josh to dress like the piemaker.....

Fourth, I'd create me a friend like Emerson Cod. He's the detective on the show and is a pushy, straight talking jerk. One of my favorite Emerson lines, "The truth ain't like puppies: a bunch running around and you pick your favorite." Words to live by, yo. However all ruff and gruff, he is lovable because he's quirky! He has this uncanny ability to get people in a rhyming rhythm when they speak. Usually the best minute of dialogue in the show. Just in normal dialogue and then suddenly it starts rhyming. I want to rhyme in my everyday speech and not have people think I'm mocking them. I tried it one day, people got angry thinking I was making fun of them. It wasn't pretty. Back to Emerson, he crochets! He has designed a pop-up book. He prefers to call people by nickname he has created only. Oh and he can dress. I have friends with elements. I've got an avid crocheter, and a great dresser, I even have a jerk. :) But the total package people, it'd be awesome. I'd want to carry him around in my purse.


Technicolored my life would be! It would still be life, just maybe more pleasing! What girl doesn't want her own soundtrack to her life, more pizazz in decor, wardrobe and an Emerson!