Monday, February 9, 2009

Warp Speed!

It has been raining in my beautiful city the last two days. It smells lovely. I have gorgeous clouds. I get to wear sweaters and be cold. It's wonderful. But I've also observed something. Let's start at the beginning.

All cars have several windshield wiping speeds. There is dribble speed - so slow you think it might be broken. Drizzle speed - slow but consistent. Standard speed. Gigawatt speed - now we mean business. Monsoon speed - starts to make you dizzy if you try to watch is go back and forth. Tornado speed - by this time don't get your finger caught under the wiper you will loose it. And finally drowning speed this will keep the windshield dry even underwater.

My next statement is a horrible generalization but honestly...prove me wrong. I ask you minivan drivers....why must you use Monsoon speed or higher even if only drizzle speed is needed? Your windshield has to be squealing at you. Screaming for mercy. That horrible "eeek, clunk! eek, clunk! eek, clunk!" noise! Do you need tornado speed for the teaspoon for accumulated liquid on your windshield? Maybe per capita minivan drivers just are a more cautious particular group. They like their windshields drip free. Even if it means all the squeaking. But I say we follow the lead for people who drive trucks. Look at the big F250 drivers for instance, they never turn their wipers on until they see Noah building a boat!

2 comments:

The Wixom Zoo said...

Are you making fun of my minivan driving skills??? I'm obsessed with keeping a clean windshield, but not like that. (Even if I were I don't think I'd admit it...)
Jeff, on the other hand, will drive until he literally can't see the car in front of him before he turns the wipers on. Silly goose.

Nancy Pitney said...

My husband is just like Wixom Zoo's. For some reason he has this aversion to turning on the windshield wipers, even if it's pouring. I think there has to be a happy medium in there somewhere! As a general rule, if you can hear the blades on the glass, the blades are going too frequently.

But I agree with you--the weather has been so nice. It feels like winter again (at least for this week).