Close All Borders!

Sometimes this closing the border business sounds pretty serious. I vote we don't mess around, let's get American about it. All or nothing baby, let's close all borders! Keep out the Canadians too! Bwah ha ha ha! (that's the evil laugh)

Why? Because, they are the Decepticons of the border jumpers. They match. They swoop in take jobs from Americans and good jobs too. Acting jobs, rock star jobs, get out you stinking Northerners! And really the Mountie?.... Not to mention, Canadians are evil. Bet you didn't know. It's hard to tell because they are so pale, some of them - honestly - transparent even. Pale but evil, proof is in the pudding. Look, what evil masterminds Canadians are. They built tiny spy mechanisms into their coins. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16572783/ Seriously in their coins? That is Dr. Evil type stuff….Dr. Evil he was totally Canadian!!

Other Canadians hiding amongst us:

Celine Dion: Well tuned trumpet that someone is playing to make albums and apparently the rest of the world is a lot more forgiving of the twitchy than I am. She is like the Megatron of the Canadians in our country.

Pamela Anderson: Enough said.

Anna Paquin: is it just me or does she always appear to be on the edge of melting?

Keanu Reeves: Boring.

Avril Lavigne: I know people who love her music, I still take offense.

See they only take the good jobs!!

Wait…I can hear my sister now. Yes, we could learn from Canada. It has limited redeeming factors. I'd love free health insurance. I'd also love to have the good view of Niagara Falls. But they are in cahoots with the French and that is unacceptable.