Thursday, January 8, 2009

Let's get ready to RUMBLE!!

:::Queue cool music and….play:::

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the first ever advertisement rumble!! "oooh!" "aaaah!" "roar of the crowd"

In this corner we've got Mr. Mucus. Even the sight of him is yucky. I know he's cartoony and all but he's supposed to represent all the flem that is in your lungs from a cold. Not a pretty sight. We know he's rough and tough and hangs in till the end. He's represented by the good people of Mucinex along with his wife and son, Junior. He's icky, he's sticky, he's tricky, some butt he's gonna kicky…. Mr. Mucus!!

The audience chants: "Slimy! Slimy! Slimy!"

And in the other corner, Digger! Hailing from way down south, Digger is an itchy looking bugger. Again he is cartoony but he represents foot fungus. How attractive is that? Digger has a foot fetish and loves to sleep in your bed…of your toe nails that is! He's a tenacious little fighter who loves to multiply. He is represented by the kindly people of Lamisil. Able to discolor and weaken even the strongest of nails, feared by all sandal wearers. Ladies & Gentlemen all the way here from Footopia….Digger!

The audience chants: "Itchy! Itchy! Itchy!"
The audience leans in aggressively and (DING!) there's the bell!

Mr. Mucus jumps in strong with a left and a right. Digger is dancing knowing Mr. Mucus wears out quickly considering his formidable size and all. A beautiful jab from Digger. It's intense now fists flying everywhere… there is a disturbance ring side.. Folks you won't believe it…it can't be…are we sure? It appears a third contender has flown full force into the ring. Wow! That has got to sting!! Ladies and gentleman the fight is over. Both Mr. Mucus and Digger are down for the count. The ref looks around the ring for confirmation, he's raising our champion's arm. The winner and still reigning champion…Nasonex Bee!!What an amazing change of events!! Until next time learn your lesson Mucinex and Lamisil…taking something gross like an infection or fungus and making it a cartoon does not make it less gross. Good night to you all from the advertisement rumble arena. Signing off with a big thanks to our sponsors Embrel, this is Swollen the Joint. Again I say, goodnight.


The Wixom Zoo said...

Awww... are Auntie Ellen and Joshie not feeling so well today? I'm sorry! I hate mr mucinex, he sucks. Get better soon.
P.S. Thanks for the birthday wishes!!! Miss you guys.