Pop Up Video!

Oh yeah boy! It's back!! Pop Up Video. And I will tell you straight up that I am addicted. I mean who doesn't want to learn needless information while watching music videos? Because you never know when you might get to audition to be a Music Video Jeopardy Contestant.

I'll take celebrity arguments for $4000, Alex.

Gwen Stefani wrote Hollaback Girl in response to what celebrities snide public remarks?

Ding, ding, ding! Who is Courtney Love?

Oh yeah!! I just banked $4000. That is B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Also how great would it be if you could turn the Pop Up Video bubbles on in real life? Boring church meetings, waits at the doctor's office. Pop! "This gentleman once trained as a cage fighter." or "This office receives 25 magazines a month. Only 12 make it to the waiting room, the remaining go home with Nurse Smith." or "Newlywed! Married last weekend!" Intriguing right? It could be fun! I would just want the option to turn it off, perma-Pop could become overwhelming almost like have 4 harajuku girls that follow you around all the time. That could make you B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Toys vs. Treasures

We have a box that comes out every time we have kids in the house and written on the side of the box in large letters is the word "TOYS." This weekend we had the most excellent privilege of having my sister, nephew and niece visit. As my niece dug through the box she busily renamed all the stuffed animals, one penguin will forever be Sunset now, and quickly she separated the toys into what interested her and what didn't. And then she found it and you could almost see the world go into slow motion for a minute.

In the toy box is a Cinderella music box. When you open it you can fold out two mirrors and put Cinderella and her prince on the dance floor, wind the music and then as it plays "So This Is Love" they dance. I helped her set it up and for 20 seconds she was completely mesmerized. Then she looked at me and said, "That's it?" Ha ha, yes that's it.

My sister got laughing and explained that yes, this is how it works something is special but only for about 20 seconds. And so my 5 year old niece carried it back to the box, set it to the side and continued to play with other toys. However as bedtime approached I was presented with the music box.

"Aunt Ellen?"
"Yes?"
"Aunt Ellen, this is not a toy. This is a treasure. Sometimes when people treasure things they give them to younger people that they love. If you feel that you might love me and be ready to give this to me, I could be happy."
"Well okay. Let me think about it."
"Okay, for now I'll just take it to my room so I can have it near."

She then delicately carried it down the hall to her room. We just melted into giggles. How smart is she? An brilliant noggin I tell you. I mean really how do you say no to that? And so my sister advised that if I was asked again and wasn't ready to part with my "treasure" all I had to do was say something very Disney like, "On your 16th birthday at the stroke of midnight if I don't have any daughters, it is all yours."

Ah yes, now I see where the brilliant noggin comes from.

Man Swing

Did you know we've become parents? For part of our journey we spent several weeks in the hospital. One particularly sleepy night Josh was sitting in the wooden rocker and he got expounding on the great wonder that is the process of rocking. Let me remind you, it came out pretty fast and flowing, he was tired and the thoughts were just bubbling out.

"I love to rock. It is so soothing. You know what is the only bad thing about this rocker? It is man propelled. I have to push. Sometimes you can push really hard and get several rocks out of one push, but then, it stops! I always seems to need three more rocks before I'm asleep and so the process starts all over, I wake up, push almost fall asleep then the momentum stops." Here he sighed...

"But man do I love to rock. You know what would be a great invention? If they could figure out how to make man sized swings like they have for babies. I would totally buy one and just swing and swing and swing. Do you know how relaxing that would be? Very. It clearly calms down a crying baby. Imagine what it would do to a grown man. Talk about stress relief. That right there is a million dollar idea, man swing."

Then there were a few minutes of silent rocking and then just for good effect he said one more time...

"Man I love to rock."

Millions of Peaches, Peaches for me!

Some bionic change has occurred in me in which I crave nutrients! I seem to desire to eat nothing but fruit and vegetables. My body may possibly be gearing up for the great fruit and vegetables war of 2011 in which mankind devours as many fruits and vegetables as possible in one day. Poor defenseless vegetables. Unguarded low hanging fruit, you are so easily picked off! How will you fight back? You can't! All you can do is make us healthy and for that we love you!

In this pursuit for total food group annihilation Josh and I made a groceries run last night. I needed broccoli salad (that is all I wanted for dinner). As we shopped the sweet fragrance of peaches called to me! Being ever the diplomat I made Josh buy his own morsels, it is every man for himself in this devouring. No sharing. And so in a fair turn of diplomacy, he taunted me on the drive home by deliciously eating said fragrant fruit. It smelled outrageously good and as he reenacted the "Mmmm...oooh, this is delicious" seen from What About Bob I couldn't help but laugh. Eventually he offered me a bite. Glorious!

As he quickly finished the first peach he dug around in the bag for the next. Suddenly he stopped and said, "Uhhh, my stomach hurts!"

I joking replied, "Probably because you ate the produce sticker and it is dicing up your intestines."

All color then dropped from Josh's face and he said, "There was a sticker?"

Guess the fruit can fight back.

Rock Anthem for the Green Lantern

*******Sing this to yourself like the lead singer from Poison/Def Leopard or White Snake! Your choice. Just put on the big hair and awesome rockerness!********

Woah, oh! Green Lanterns, what can you be?
Tell us now, what is your mystery?
You fight for good, your multi-galaxy
You’re stronger than the Ming Dynasty!

CHORUS
You are…….Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!!
Woah oh! Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!!
Bending will with your brains!
Creating swords, guns and chains!
Even some aeroplanes!
Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!

And did you know that they can fly?
Backflips, spins, dramatic dives
Acrobats of the sky!
Space gymnasts fly by the moon!
Bela Karolyi begins to swoon.

CHORUS
You are…….Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!!
Woah oh! Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!!
Bending will with your brains!
Creating swords, guns and chains!
Even some aeroplanes!
Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!

Even Lanterns walk on lover’s lane.
Carol Ferris is his Mary Jane.
From heartfelt moment moments they do not flee
True love helps them to find their destiny!

CHORUS – with professional clapping
You are…….Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!!
Woah oh! Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!!
Bending will with your brains!
Creating swords, guns and chains!
Even some aeroplanes!
Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!
Mind Ninjas from OUTER SPACE!!!!

Surprise!

This story has very little to do with me or Josh. But it makes me laugh every time I think about it. My brother the eldest came home from college one summer with a sweet lady (his future wife) on his mind. He pined.

One of his “hope she doesn’t forget me” projects was a tape of all his favorite songs. Love songs. He worked and worked on that tape. Is this song okay, is it too weird that song ends with the guy yelling? We consulted and eventually he had created a perfect mix. Absolutely lovely, no girl could resist. So he packaged it all up with a nice note and mailed it off to her.

However, the perfect mix is not the tape future sister in law received. Nope. She received 90 minutes of the two younger brothers making up songs and practicing their fart noises. Not exactly the effect Brother the Older was going for. He was not a happy camper when she called to report and rightfully so. But that is just too funny to be empathetic. Go with me to the package delivery…..

You get a package from the boy you dated that semester at school. Inside is a mix tape in it which all girls know is the ultimate symbol of love. Thank you 80s movies! You head to your boom box put the tape in, push play and open the letter. As you start to read your love letter, taking in how nice his handwriting is and the sweet introduction you are rudely interrupted by the Beef Log* song and two little boys laughing. It is this moment, that no matter what is going on in my life, if I picture this moment...I laugh. Sorry sister, it is just funny.

Bless her for being patient enough to seek clarification. What I wouldn’t give to get my hands on that tape. Solid family history there.

** Beef Log Lyrics ** from Space Ghost Coast to Coast
Beef Log, Beef Log what a treat!
A hefty hunk of processed meat!
Dipped in Mustard oh what joy, I’m a jolly beef log boy!

Brak, I beg to disagree, cheese log in the log for me.
As a meal or as a snack, it’s my favorite source of saturated fat!
Cheese log, cheese log, cylindrical and yellow
Pass the cheese log and I’m a happy fellow!

It's a Birthday Bear!

I am one of the weirdos who begs to go to girls camp every year. I LOVE it. I can't help myself. Singing the same 12 songs over and over, games, crafts, chores & bears oh my! Yes, bears!! Okay get your snuggy on because this is one mega campfire story!

I'm biased but I'm just going to say that we have the best bishop ever. He brought up ice cream and cake for our young women as a special treat on Sunday. So after treat time and dinner, some of our girls had gone back up to the addie to socialize. (Addies are some mutant cabin/tent combo. The bottom half is cabin, the top half is tent-ish. The centaurs of camping really.) And so there they lounge in the addies and suddenly there he is. Feet up on the door, checking out what food the girls might have. My understanding is quite a bit of screaming occurred.

A rescue mission ensued and all girls were quickly accounted for. And what did Jimmy Aslan (his pet name) want? Food! Free delicious food! He stole the closed Igloo. He hauled it up the mountain and our Priesthood leaders, now bear trackers & defenders, said he only stopped to eat the Rocky Road ice cream. Everything else he left behind. A bear after my heart. Rocky Road is delicious!!

And so for safety sake all those sleeping in the centaur addies were relocated to full cabins. Phew! We had survived a bear encounter!

But wait, that would be to easy! You see, Jimmy Aslan is a persistent bear. Who really likes camp food! And so he was back for a little breakfast, and then a little lunch. He knew it was my birthday, he wanted in on the party.

The final kicker was when my dear friend went to run and grab her camera from the safety of a cabin and as she rounded the corner there he was! Jimmy Aslan strikes a fourth time! So she had a little heart to heart with him.

"Jimmy Aslan, I don't think you are supposed to be here. I think you are supposed to be far away." How cool is she? I probably would have said something like "Holy crow, bear. Please don't eat me." Then I would have gone into a whole series of nonsense phrases (Number 5 is alive. I see only 4 lights! Tell them Large Marge sent you.) and probably ended with a primary song. She is way cooler in the face of a bear than me. Everybody high five Sister Vest, the bear whisperer.

So yeah, at this point we had a bear "problem." Jimmy Aslan had claimed our territory. It was time for us to shove along home. And so we evacuated the dance floor! You win this round, J. Aslan, but we will be back....probably without Rocky Road ice cream.