Rock Anthem for the Green Lantern

*******Sing this to yourself like the lead singer from Poison/Def Leopard or White Snake! Your choice. Just put on the big hair and awesome rockerness!********

Woah, oh! Green Lanterns, what can you be?
Tell us now, what is your mystery?
You fight for good, your multi-galaxy
You’re stronger than the Ming Dynasty!

CHORUS
You are…….Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!!
Woah oh! Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!!
Bending will with your brains!
Creating swords, guns and chains!
Even some aeroplanes!
Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!

And did you know that they can fly?
Backflips, spins, dramatic dives
Acrobats of the sky!
Space gymnasts fly by the moon!
Bela Karolyi begins to swoon.

CHORUS
You are…….Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!!
Woah oh! Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!!
Bending will with your brains!
Creating swords, guns and chains!
Even some aeroplanes!
Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!

Even Lanterns walk on lover’s lane.
Carol Ferris is his Mary Jane.
From heartfelt moment moments they do not flee
True love helps them to find their destiny!

CHORUS – with professional clapping
You are…….Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!!
Woah oh! Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!!
Bending will with your brains!
Creating swords, guns and chains!
Even some aeroplanes!
Mind Ninjas from Outer Space!
Mind Ninjas from OUTER SPACE!!!!

Surprise!

This story has very little to do with me or Josh. But it makes me laugh every time I think about it. My brother the eldest came home from college one summer with a sweet lady (his future wife) on his mind. He pined.

One of his “hope she doesn’t forget me” projects was a tape of all his favorite songs. Love songs. He worked and worked on that tape. Is this song okay, is it too weird that song ends with the guy yelling? We consulted and eventually he had created a perfect mix. Absolutely lovely, no girl could resist. So he packaged it all up with a nice note and mailed it off to her.

However, the perfect mix is not the tape future sister in law received. Nope. She received 90 minutes of the two younger brothers making up songs and practicing their fart noises. Not exactly the effect Brother the Older was going for. He was not a happy camper when she called to report and rightfully so. But that is just too funny to be empathetic. Go with me to the package delivery…..

You get a package from the boy you dated that semester at school. Inside is a mix tape in it which all girls know is the ultimate symbol of love. Thank you 80s movies! You head to your boom box put the tape in, push play and open the letter. As you start to read your love letter, taking in how nice his handwriting is and the sweet introduction you are rudely interrupted by the Beef Log* song and two little boys laughing. It is this moment, that no matter what is going on in my life, if I picture this moment...I laugh. Sorry sister, it is just funny.

Bless her for being patient enough to seek clarification. What I wouldn’t give to get my hands on that tape. Solid family history there.

** Beef Log Lyrics ** from Space Ghost Coast to Coast
Beef Log, Beef Log what a treat!
A hefty hunk of processed meat!
Dipped in Mustard oh what joy, I’m a jolly beef log boy!

Brak, I beg to disagree, cheese log in the log for me.
As a meal or as a snack, it’s my favorite source of saturated fat!
Cheese log, cheese log, cylindrical and yellow
Pass the cheese log and I’m a happy fellow!

It's a Birthday Bear!

I am one of the weirdos who begs to go to girls camp every year. I LOVE it. I can't help myself. Singing the same 12 songs over and over, games, crafts, chores & bears oh my! Yes, bears!! Okay get your snuggy on because this is one mega campfire story!

I'm biased but I'm just going to say that we have the best bishop ever. He brought up ice cream and cake for our young women as a special treat on Sunday. So after treat time and dinner, some of our girls had gone back up to the addie to socialize. (Addies are some mutant cabin/tent combo. The bottom half is cabin, the top half is tent-ish. The centaurs of camping really.) And so there they lounge in the addies and suddenly there he is. Feet up on the door, checking out what food the girls might have. My understanding is quite a bit of screaming occurred.

A rescue mission ensued and all girls were quickly accounted for. And what did Jimmy Aslan (his pet name) want? Food! Free delicious food! He stole the closed Igloo. He hauled it up the mountain and our Priesthood leaders, now bear trackers & defenders, said he only stopped to eat the Rocky Road ice cream. Everything else he left behind. A bear after my heart. Rocky Road is delicious!!

And so for safety sake all those sleeping in the centaur addies were relocated to full cabins. Phew! We had survived a bear encounter!

But wait, that would be to easy! You see, Jimmy Aslan is a persistent bear. Who really likes camp food! And so he was back for a little breakfast, and then a little lunch. He knew it was my birthday, he wanted in on the party.

The final kicker was when my dear friend went to run and grab her camera from the safety of a cabin and as she rounded the corner there he was! Jimmy Aslan strikes a fourth time! So she had a little heart to heart with him.

"Jimmy Aslan, I don't think you are supposed to be here. I think you are supposed to be far away." How cool is she? I probably would have said something like "Holy crow, bear. Please don't eat me." Then I would have gone into a whole series of nonsense phrases (Number 5 is alive. I see only 4 lights! Tell them Large Marge sent you.) and probably ended with a primary song. She is way cooler in the face of a bear than me. Everybody high five Sister Vest, the bear whisperer.

So yeah, at this point we had a bear "problem." Jimmy Aslan had claimed our territory. It was time for us to shove along home. And so we evacuated the dance floor! You win this round, J. Aslan, but we will be back....probably without Rocky Road ice cream.