Surprise!

This story has very little to do with me or Josh. But it makes me laugh every time I think about it. My brother the eldest came home from college one summer with a sweet lady (his future wife) on his mind. He pined.

One of his “hope she doesn’t forget me” projects was a tape of all his favorite songs. Love songs. He worked and worked on that tape. Is this song okay, is it too weird that song ends with the guy yelling? We consulted and eventually he had created a perfect mix. Absolutely lovely, no girl could resist. So he packaged it all up with a nice note and mailed it off to her.

However, the perfect mix is not the tape future sister in law received. Nope. She received 90 minutes of the two younger brothers making up songs and practicing their fart noises. Not exactly the effect Brother the Older was going for. He was not a happy camper when she called to report and rightfully so. But that is just too funny to be empathetic. Go with me to the package delivery…..

You get a package from the boy you dated that semester at school. Inside is a mix tape in it which all girls know is the ultimate symbol of love. Thank you 80s movies! You head to your boom box put the tape in, push play and open the letter. As you start to read your love letter, taking in how nice his handwriting is and the sweet introduction you are rudely interrupted by the Beef Log* song and two little boys laughing. It is this moment, that no matter what is going on in my life, if I picture this moment...I laugh. Sorry sister, it is just funny.

Bless her for being patient enough to seek clarification. What I wouldn’t give to get my hands on that tape. Solid family history there.

** Beef Log Lyrics ** from Space Ghost Coast to Coast
Beef Log, Beef Log what a treat!
A hefty hunk of processed meat!
Dipped in Mustard oh what joy, I’m a jolly beef log boy!

Brak, I beg to disagree, cheese log in the log for me.
As a meal or as a snack, it’s my favorite source of saturated fat!
Cheese log, cheese log, cylindrical and yellow
Pass the cheese log and I’m a happy fellow!

It's a Birthday Bear!

I am one of the weirdos who begs to go to girls camp every year. I LOVE it. I can't help myself. Singing the same 12 songs over and over, games, crafts, chores & bears oh my! Yes, bears!! Okay get your snuggy on because this is one mega campfire story!

I'm biased but I'm just going to say that we have the best bishop ever. He brought up ice cream and cake for our young women as a special treat on Sunday. So after treat time and dinner, some of our girls had gone back up to the addie to socialize. (Addies are some mutant cabin/tent combo. The bottom half is cabin, the top half is tent-ish. The centaurs of camping really.) And so there they lounge in the addies and suddenly there he is. Feet up on the door, checking out what food the girls might have. My understanding is quite a bit of screaming occurred.

A rescue mission ensued and all girls were quickly accounted for. And what did Jimmy Aslan (his pet name) want? Food! Free delicious food! He stole the closed Igloo. He hauled it up the mountain and our Priesthood leaders, now bear trackers & defenders, said he only stopped to eat the Rocky Road ice cream. Everything else he left behind. A bear after my heart. Rocky Road is delicious!!

And so for safety sake all those sleeping in the centaur addies were relocated to full cabins. Phew! We had survived a bear encounter!

But wait, that would be to easy! You see, Jimmy Aslan is a persistent bear. Who really likes camp food! And so he was back for a little breakfast, and then a little lunch. He knew it was my birthday, he wanted in on the party.

The final kicker was when my dear friend went to run and grab her camera from the safety of a cabin and as she rounded the corner there he was! Jimmy Aslan strikes a fourth time! So she had a little heart to heart with him.

"Jimmy Aslan, I don't think you are supposed to be here. I think you are supposed to be far away." How cool is she? I probably would have said something like "Holy crow, bear. Please don't eat me." Then I would have gone into a whole series of nonsense phrases (Number 5 is alive. I see only 4 lights! Tell them Large Marge sent you.) and probably ended with a primary song. She is way cooler in the face of a bear than me. Everybody high five Sister Vest, the bear whisperer.

So yeah, at this point we had a bear "problem." Jimmy Aslan had claimed our territory. It was time for us to shove along home. And so we evacuated the dance floor! You win this round, J. Aslan, but we will be back....probably without Rocky Road ice cream.

There is a technical support call….

I’m a mammal who likes my creature comforts. I have my “spot” on the couch. I have my floaty I like to lounge on in the pool. And I LOVE my air conditioner. So when it had some dicey behavior last week, I mourned. And so we called for an HVAC hero because after trying to fix it on our own twice, I was ready for AC Slater to be in full fighting form again.

They don’t mess around with heat in AZ, so HVAC superman actually came and saw us on the weekend. The heat had owned me at that point so I was soaking in the box fan breeze and lightly napping off a wicked headache. I’m going to let you experience this like I did, I kept waking up and catching parts of what was going on.

First, I heard the guy climb on the roof and whack a few metal things. Then Josh came in the room and shut the window, turned off the fan and teased me about cooling the whole neighborhood. I think I grumbled “AC?” and Josh said, “Yes ma’am, all systems are activated.” Nice Star Trek reference.

The next thing I heard was the gentlemen ask Josh what he did for a living. Josh told him about his computer wizardry and the HVAC guy who had just saved me from certain death told Josh he had a “notebook that wasn’t working too good.” My next memory is Josh and his new best friend joking and laughing and Josh getting the guy a drink.

Maybe an hour later Josh came in to check on me, I asked about his new best friend our HVAC hero. Come to find out, while our AC Slater was being revived, Josh was reviving HVAC’s notebook. I said, “It seems like he was here a long time.” To which Josh said, “Well yeah, it takes a long time to download Microsoft updates, it’s all good though we had a nice talk.” I’m pretty sure the guy fixed our AC in 30 minutes but Josh worked on his computer for at least 90 minutes and Josh loved every minute of it so you can't fault him for his random act of service! Maybe HVAC hero will throw in a free filter next time!

Bust a Myth: Faith cures Infertility

It is National Infertility Awareness Week and Resolve.org has challenge folks to blog about an Infertility myth. I’ve danced around with a few ideas, (Ovulation Vacation, anyone?), but kept coming back to the common misconception that faith cures infertility.

I would say that 85% of people who learn that we have tried for 8 years to have children without success usual take it upon themselves to try and share a tidbit of wisdom about conception. I know it is from the goodness of their hearts and so I’ve learned to smile and nod and go to my happy place. Everyone is trying to relate and be helpful. It is always with the greatest of intentions.

Some go as far to advises, “You must have faith. God can cure anything. Live worthily and pray he will answer.” And He does. We can find accounts in the scriptures of this. We hear testimonies shared at church, stories of families who have miracle pregnancies. But is conception the only way to cure infertility?

I would say no. Living worthily, asking and having faith has not allowed me to conceive but the Lord has provided me with many blessing. I do have faith that our Heavenly Father can heal the body. I am simply saying that I do not believe that is always His answer. Instead I have been blessed by having my spirit healed. I have been given reprieve from sorrow. I have been given strength. I have been guided to know that motherhood is still one of my roles. I have been given patience. I have not been forgotten, Heavenly Father knows me and has a plan just for me. And check me out folks, it’s a special plan.

Want to learn more about infertility? Check out this link: http://www.resolve.org/infertility-overview/what-is-infertility/ Want to bust a myth? http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/home-page.html

Peeps Show Entries!

Entry one: Peep Kabob Entry two: Graham Cracker Campground

The submitter of the following four images wrote: "It all started out so well -- a lovely day at the lake. But somehow, that night, around the campfire at Graham Cracker Campground, it all went terribly wrong. The bunnies toasted marshmallows, the chicks roasted eggs, even the chocolate bunny skewered a chip to see how long it would take to melt!"

"Horrified I woke with a start. Thank goodness it was only a nightmare. Of course it could never really happen. Where would Easter critters ever get such an idea?"

Entry Three: Tweety Peep

Entry Four: Give Peeps a chance!

Yes, I took two late submissions as you can note by the date on the photos. Judge me all you wish, this earns me major brownie points in the Auntie world. Also who doesn't want to see light saber wielding peeps and a peep wedding?

Entry Five: Star Wars

Entry Six: Peep Wedding

Vote for your favorite using the gadget on the top left of the blog. Can't chose just one? Vote for many! Voting closes Wednesday at midnight so I have time to deliver the goods to the winner! Let the voting begin!

Sub-Conscious Melodies

I estimate that once a week I wake up with the lyrics of a song or a melody on broadcast in my thoughts. I’ll sit up in bed humming, sing it to myself in the shower and finally have to say to Josh, “Yellow Submarine.” Then finally I can let the song go. One of my small delights in life is that Josh has this mental hiccup too . His internal DJ broadcasts on a totally different radio station then mine but it is one of the quirks we equally share.

Last Friday I woke to what I thought was a sappy 70s love ballad. At first I couldn’t remember the lyrics, but I totally had the melody on lock. It just kept repeating again and again. On the drive into work my brain assembled the following lyrics, “Why does my heart bleed now in the moOoooOOrning?!? And it trickles through the night!” After ten minutes of googling why does my heart bleed and getting medical journals, I gave up and called Josh. Did you know he is practically the Rain Man when it comes to musical lyrics?

“Josh, I know the lyrics are totally wrong but my song this morning is something I can’t remember and it’s making me crazy. Can you help me?”

“Umm yeah I’ll try.”

“Why does my heart bleed now in the moOoooOOrning?!? And it trickles through the night!”

There is a moment of totally silence and then he starts laughing and laughing. “Are you sure you want to know?”

Here I got a bit nervous, “Yes, it’s making me crazy.”

Then he actually played the song back to me over the phone, that’s right he had it handy.

“Yep! That’s it! Thanks Josh! Wait a minute…..is that CELINE DION?!?!” Now Josh is laughing even more. To my horror my sub-conscious has plucked a song from my musical nemesis. Celine Dion “Why Does My Heart Beat Now.”

Give me credit though folks, I didn’t know the words in the least bit.

Duh nuh nuh nuh!

Countdowns to challenges always make the think of the Rocky theme song. Super empowering song, sort of makes you feel like you could wrestle a mountain lion and win. You know the training song, with the punching and the running and the epic stair run. That's some quality inspirational filming. Please hum that to yourself while you read the remainder of this post. Duh nuh nuh nuh.... Ladies and Gentlemen, only six and a half days remain until Peeps entries are due! People are bringing the awesome this year. Serious contenders. They fought the battle with creativity and they came out on top! Bring the noise! Remember to get your entries to me by High Noon on the 13th. And thanks for playing, bless all you creative brains who want to play! You make me one happy camper.